Am I an awful evil person?

It’s been a year since my mum was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer last august. After that at the beginning of october I then lost my dog who was only 7 very suddenly and it devastated me. Devastated us all really. My parents then jumped at getting another puppy because the house felt too empty, so we ended up getting a large bernese mix breed pup in the beginning of january. He is very hard work and I’m not I’m bonding with him very much. My grandma on my dads side has recently been diagnosed with dementia and has become very unwell with it, not eating, not cleaning herself etc, and we’re all (me and both my parents) are having to go down every day to make sure she is ok. My job has become extremely stressful with me having to do 7 days straight some weeks, plus looking after the dog, and our house (my mum still isnt back to 100% as she ended up having major surgery and part chemo but had to stop due to a minor heart attack, and my dad works full time). I honestly feel like there is a weight on my chest and I can’t breathe, and I can’t do anything right, and nothing I do is ever good enough. I’ve suggested the possibility of rehoming our pup and was shot down like it was an awful thing to suggest, but I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s going to start negatively impacting him and that is the absolute last thing I ever want to happen, but he deserves better. He deserves a family that physically has time for him. It would honestly leave a crack in my heart, but things are not going to get better in other aspects of my life anytime soon and that is not fair to him. Am I evil for wanting to rehome him?


Hey there @FadedLily :bouquet::cherry_blossom:

It seems like you’ve been going through a tough time lately. Having lost your dog and been battling with many family illnesses in a very short span of time. It’s clear that you have a deep love for dogs and that you care about your puppy’s wellbeing. That’s a true reflection of the character you are :green_heart:

A new puppy and all the responsibilities and care that comes along with it is tough. You’ve had a lot on your shoulders recently and you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what you feel best. It’s a tough situation you are dealing with and you need to give yourself some time for self-care too

I can see that you want the best possible outcome for your pup. Rehoming takes a lot of thought and consideration. It’s important to speak to your family through this process as it’s impossible to make such a big decision on your own. But, there are also other alternatives. Some countries allow dogs to be trained as service/assistance/therapy dogs - something which may benefit your mom as she battles through her illness.

The only thing you can do is weigh up all the options, talk to your family and figure out the best course of action. You are 100% not evil for considering rehoming - making a decision that’s in the best interests of the dog and family is difficult! :hugs:

Sending big hugs! Please remember to take some time to look after yourself :green_heart:


Welcome fadedlily (I love that name!)
I just want to really say that I am so sorry for what your mother is going through. I can’t begin to imagine how much pain it is for her and for you to see her going through it.

Pets can be a very wonderful thing. They can indeed fill an empty space, they can bring love and joy to our lives, but they are also living beings and need work to be put into them.

My personal thoughts are that even though there is always a lot of guilt around rehoming pets, if we genuinely are doing what’s in their best interest then why should we feel guilty?
Imagine this puppy goes to a home with kids who can play with it and cuddle it and run around with it. I hope that thought could make your heart feel lighter about it.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to be a pet owner or are a bad one at all, in fact I genuinely believe people who recognise the need to give their pet another opportunity are people who genuinely love and care for them.

Perhaps in another time when things are less chaotic a pet will be wonderful for your family.

I hope if you sit down and explain to your dad that the puppy isn’t getting much bonding time and explain your concerns then maybe he will consider your words and find the best plan about what to do.

I’m sending you a ton of love, fadedlily
Be gentle to yourself, you are far from an evil person x