I feel like such a faker and a hypocrite. I tell others here on heartsupport that all they need are themselves and to not let anyone change them. I want to be strong and help others, but I can’t seem to help myself and it’s killing me. I feel, in a way, like I was born in the wrong generation. Or maybe it was the way I grew up, but society just drowns me sometimes. I have a friend that has this thing in common with me thats very important, but I feel so fake around her. Like I cant be myself or stand up for myself. She’s not a bad person, and I just don’t know what to do. How can I be myself? I don’t want to be friendless, but no one seems to be able to accept me. I can’t find friends these days, and it’s so frustrating. I feel like I have to change myself in order to be friends with someone. I don’t know anymore
Hey friend. First off I want to say thank you for you commitment to the forum. I see you on so many posts! But, if you’re struggling yourself, it’s okay to take a step back. I used to reply to every single post on the wall - everyday I would sit and write something to EVERYONE… Sometimes that was 10+ posts a day, while still dealing with my own stuff… I had to stop because it exhausted me so much.
Why do you feel like you’re fake around her? If you can work out why you feel that way, maybe you can change it. Eventually you are going to get tired of “faking it” and so if this person doesn’t want to be your friend with you being yourself, then maybe she’s not the type of person you need to be around.
I’m not good at making friends either. I pretty much have none around me - all of mine are online. You know what though? As much as I miss physically being able to have someone there with me, the friends I found here are my everything. You CAN be yourself - it’s hard when you’ve been hiding behind a mask for so long, but, it’ll be worth it. You’ll no longer exhaust yourself having to keep the mask up for so long. I’ve been through the same, I faked who I was for years, and now, I’m relieved I don’t have to do that anymore. It’s worth it. YOU’RE WORTH IT. It’ll get easier when you start to be yourself, I promise.
hey bvblover16, you deserve love, be yourself