Well, today my Dad came over to my house. I moved out about six months ago and it’s only about the third time he’s been over. He was here because he was just helping us with some stuff (Not important). But, it didn’t take him long to start pointing out all these flaws in myself just like he did when I lived at home. He pointed out messes, that I never helped out with anything, I only sit around and play video games all day; treating me exactly how he did when I was a kid. It really just reinforces the idea that I’ll never be able to take care of myself (Even though that’s exactly what I’m doing), or that no matter how hard I work it will never be enough to satisfy him. My best just doesn’t feel like enough. I had a really toxic relationship with him growing up and instead of fighting back I just looked forward to the day I graduated so I could move out and that’s exactly what I did. While the words he spoke today were nowhere near the verbal abuse I endured as a kid, it still was very negative and not fun to hear, and I thought I escaped it by getting my own place. Only he follows me with this, instilling these toxic thoughts in my head: I’m not enough, I’m still a child, I’m stupid, any work I put in to better my life is invalid.
Friend, I love you so much. I’m really sorry you have to deal with this. I deal with the same thing with my mom.
You ARE doing your best and you’re doing a great job. Don’t let his hurtful words make you second guess yourself. Yo are strong and you are worthy of all the love and happiness. You have grown up and matured since you moved out, and he shouldn’t point out your flaws. That’s wrong of him to do and I wish I could take away your pain.
Honestly. Maybe you just need to do these things to satisfy yourself. I would focus on what YOU think is best for YOU, and what will make YOU happy and make YOU feel satisfied. I wouldn’t worry about what he thinks. I don’t know your whole relationship with him, but remember your happiness doesn’t depend on his approval.
I’m proud of you. We’re all so proud of you. I know that you’re doing your best and you’re doing freaking amazing! You should be proud of yourself. Look at all the things you’ve accomplished and all the good things you’ve done. You are doing fine and I’m so happy you’re here.
Hope this helps, friend. Stay strong
Thank you so much friend