Okay, so I kinda feel a little dumb having to ask this, but, I really don’t know if what I’m doing to myself is considered being back in a full relapse, or if it’s something else?
It’s not a secret that I self harm in the form of cutting. It’s something I’ve done for around 12-13 years, I’m in recovery from both cutting and addiction to prescription pain medication.
10 days ago I cut again. One of those cuts has been scabbing over kinda bad, and I keep picking at it. I know that picking at wounds and not allowing them to heal is a form of self harm, but, does the reasons behind me doing this (which I’m about to explain) mean it counts as that? If so, does that mean it’s a relapse or a different thing that I shouldn’t be linking to my cutting?
So, as I mentioned, I’m unsure of whether this is considered self harm because the intention ISN’T to cause pain… I know that this has to scab over in order to heal, however, having that on my arm bothers me, so I constantly pick at it until it starts to heal without forming a scab (which occasionally does work after weeks of doing this). Sometimes, I do it in order to make it bleed - something about that is calming to me. I don’t even have to be in an unhealthy mindset to want this. I can be feeling okay, yet, still want to do this. Other times… I just really don’t know I’m doing it until it’s too late…
As I said, I feel super dumb having to ask this because I thought I was well educated around the topic, but, I really don’t know the answer to those questions…
If ANYONE can help me or give some advise in order to work this out… I would be grateful.
It’s perfectly normal to pick at scabs. I think a lot of us do it. However, be mindful that picking at it will cause more scarring. Let it heal. Put a bandaid or ace bandage over it.
Like you told someone in stream, a relapse would be more if you are intentionally hurting yourself for unhealthy reasons. With the purpose to self harm.
Picking scabs isnt easy to ignore. Like biting nails. Sounds like you’re just having a hard time leaving it alone for natural reasons. Bandage it up ️
Hey @Kayla,
It doesn’t sound like self harm to me but at the same time it kinda does, only because you are still causing damage to yourself. However @anon17277947 is also right, its kinda just a thing that as humans we do. Sorry if this isn’t very helpful.
Holdfast my friend
Hi Kayla
I want you to know you’re not stupid for needing to ask about this. It’s never stupid to ask questions and educate yourself!
When it comes to self harm there are some grey areas where actions aren’t necessarily considered selfharm but at the same time they are a form of self harm.
If you’re picking at scabs specifically to make yourself bleed then personally I would consider that a form of self harm because your purposely making yourself bleed, but others might not. If you’re picking at a scab because you don’t want it there or if you’re doing it absentmindedly then that’s just normal behavior, lots of people pick at scabs. I’ve done it my whole life.
My best advice would be to keep an eye on yourself and try to be more aware of whether or not your picking at scabs and why you’re picking at them. If you’re doing it specifically to make yourself bleed I would suggest doing something else to distract yourself from those thoughts and to avoid doing it, but if you’re doing it because the scab is bothering you or you don’t realize you’re doing it I wouldn’t worry too too much. If the picking gets worse though I would recommend doing whatever you usually do to stop yourself from self harming in the past.
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