I have written about this before on here but my mind is going crazy right now and I need some advice. I’m 31 and I worked at a place from 18-28 so it has been about 3 years since I’ve worked there. I started of young and not knowing anything about the job. I started from the bottom and worked my way up. I was slammed for every mistakes I made( even though you learn from mistakes and I was young and inexperienced) and given the reputation of kind of a fuck up. Some would try to help me learn but most would just talk shit and tell me that this job wasn’t for me. Which I didn’t understand because everyone starts out not knowing everything. Time went on and on and I did get better and moved up in the company but still every mistake I made was made a big deal of. One of the older guys could do the same thing and it was ok but if I did it I’m a failure. Even close friends that I had from there that I would hangout with out of work I found out were also talking shit on me. I even overheard a really good friend of mine talking shit on me in the next room because he had to fix a mistake I mad while I was on vacation. I even confronted him and he would not admit it and turned it on me and that really hurt bad. All these years at this place has taken a tool on me. I am scared to death to make a mistake. I can’t trust anyone anymore. I assume most of my friends probably talk shit on me. I still think about that place every day at least a couple times a day even though I moved on and have a better job and I am finally happy with my work environment . I still wonder if they still talk about me and if I see one of them on the outside at a store or something all the memories come rushing back and I try to avoid them . Iduno if I’m overthinking this or over reacting. I just want to be normal and go to work everyday without getting slammed for everything I did. I did have friends there don’t get me wrong. I could probably walk in there today and be friendly with alot of them but It’s just those moments when I messed up and got ridden for it really sticks in my head and I can’t let it go till this day. Everyday I think about that place and the people that hurt me. Iduno if most of them meant it or if they were trying to be a big brother figure but I am messed up about it still. Anxiety really sucks. Can someone please help me possibly get over this or give me some advice on what to do???
Overthinking happen to me too, its an hard habit to break. I also know have a new job that been working for an year, but i still think about my old jobs. Those had bad memories too, where i thought thoose people as friends, but they turn about be assholes.
I did landscaping for an one years, where they bunch jocky tough guys that look me as whimp. One guy lit my pants on fires with a lighter. They pull on my shirt and throw me around like a rag doll. They made me feel like i suck at my job and i was a whimp.
Next job was panera, for while it turn out to be good, but then one guy that I though was my firend that turn to an nut case psychopathic liar, saying they going to me report on harassment (which they did not) and that guy at there hated me. He would tell my band suck and never going to work out( that i was part of to this day). It got to point where I threw a bakery rage at him and flip out, punching walls. I scare everyone their.
Dude I still think my past job, it does get you head and make me depressed and paranoid. My mind is still hurt from these past jobs and cause me alot of pain and misery. So you not alone in this man. However, past job can mess with you mind and it get to best of us.
Thanks my friend. I am here for you if you ever need me!!!