Am I ruining this?

I got married 3 months ago. Before we got married we were happy. At least I think we were. We would fight sometimes but after we got married. The way he looks at me is different. He doesnt seem happy with me anymore. He treats me differently. One of my friends told me her husband doesnt like my husband anymore because he doesnt like how my husband treats me. Is he really mean to me like others say he is? He doesnt hit me or call me names but its the way he acts towards me and stuff he says to me. I love him more than anything. What happened to us… is my mental health driving us apart? And I ruining my relationship because of my uncontrolled emotions…


Hey @blackhorizon,

First, thank you for writing about your struggle here. It takes courage to open up about such personal things.

Secondly, how long have you been together before marriage? In what ways do you think your husband changed compared to life before that? If it’s hurting you, you should openly communicate him how you feel. They say you shouldn’t ignore your instincts if something goes bad. I used to be in a relationship with a guy and his behaviour progressively changed in time to the point that when he first introduced me to his friends he started acting very cold and he was just mean and sarcastic towards me. I couldn’t say much but on the inside I was crumbbling to being treated like that. Do not ignore that feeling- how you feel reflects the reality of the situation.

Marriage is work and communication. It’s not all rose petals and stuff. Maybe he is going through something else and he is just refulating a hidden frustration at you. You need to ask him if he needs to talk about things like that. Communicate. And if that is harder, try counselling. But make sure it never progresses to agressivness that should not be tolerated. They do say it takes a lifetime to truly know someone.

Hope that helped.

All love,