I’ve gotten a lot out of being a part of this community. I’ve been able to use my stories and perspectives to help others who are struggling like I have, and I’ve been able to lean on y’all for support when I’m having a tough time, all with the peace of knowing I won’t be judged because I’m anonymous. It’s a great community that I’d love to share with my peers. The thing is, if I did that, I’d lose my anonymity. Those close to me know my story and my diction style well enough that I think they’d figure out who I am pretty quickly, and if that happened I wouldn’t feel safe here anymore.
I’m not trying to hide my past. I’ve shared my story on social media, on my terms, and putting it up like that was like carving it into a stone monument. HeartSupport is not a stone monument though. It’s alive and vulnerable. When I’m here, I’m exposing my soul and not just my scars, and I’m not sure that’s a world I want to let my peers into.
Has anyone else struggled with this? If you invited someone to come join, has it impacted your relationship?
I felt selfish from time to time because I don’t want to share about HS either. Well… not that I don’t want to. I’d actually love that. But I want to keep some privacy too. For different reasons than you, but with the same result. Feeling safe means a lot to me. So I don’t share anything that’s HS related on social medias or to people I know IRL. I mentioned this place a few times to my sister, but never said the name. My partner knows, but it’s because he would never come here and read what I’m sharing. He respects this as part of my “privacy” in regards of our own relationship. He doesn’t show up during streams, he doesn’t ask me what I’m writing or anything. If I want to share something, it’s up to me.
I need this anonymity. I have no problem with a very few trusted people from HS knowing my name or personal infos, but I dont want, for example, to let someone from my family know about this place. They would recognize my account easily and not necessarily use it for the right purpose. There are parts of my story that people in my life don’t know about, even people I love and trust dearly. They wouldn’t understand and I’m 100% not ready to handle this - or sure if I ever want them to know. I just consider that if I want to share something personal with them one day, it has to be on my terms.
I’ve never really faced the situation of someone really close to me needing to be recommended to look after a place like HS. So I’ve never been actively challenged by this thought of feeling selfish, like a moral dilemna. Also I’m not from US, so it’s easier to think about resources where I’m living first. But this feeling of being selfish comes in waves, especially when I’m really grateful for the quality of the resources that are provided here. I think it deserves light and to be known. Not that my own participation would make any difference, lol, but you get what I mean.
For what it’s worth, I know people in this community who are dealing with the same struggle, but also as being streamers. Like having different nicknames and different social medias accounts so they can keep some kind of privacy. And honestly I think it’s okay. Safety is not a luxury. And what’s true for you right now may be very different in one, two or ten months.
I’m the same. I like my anonymity. Twitch and heart support has been a refuge, a safe haven, a place to grow and think deeply, the only support system that is not toxic (with no positivity or a group that’s supposed to grow you that keeps you stuck) . On social media I share only part of my story, I make lasting friends that I dream of meeting 1 day, but I don’t share everything. Heart support I share everything with the flow of conversation, I get to know people and get to cheer them on, but I respect anonymity so much I would never try meeting anyone, and if I ran into them I would not give them my username…
My family has asked me to set up a account for them and let them follow the people I am close with. I have not for very obvious reasons.
I am the same way. I don’t want anyone I know to join if they know who I am (and they would probably, because my picture is my bearded dragon that is all over the place on my FB). I feel like, for whatever reason, it’s easier for me to be candid when I know that nobody here actually knows me. Also I’m pretty new in my career and I don’t know how they would handle my conditions, especially the anxiety. The job can be stressful but I love it and don’t want to risk losing it because of my anxiety, as I’ve kinda hinted at in topics I’ve created.
I’m exactly like you. I want to share Heart Support with some people. But don’t want them seeing everything I post here. It’s not selfish. You are just protecting yourself.