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Am I The A**hole for

AITA means ‘Am I The Asshole’. To be honest I don’t care if I’m the asshole. But I’ve noticed a trend since my husband and I acquired our house and its kind of annoying.

Let me preface this by saying we are currently renting the house until they can straighten out some issues with the title. They have scheduled the official closing for Monday.

We have lived in this house since the 13th. Its ours in every way except for some signatures. My husband and I did the entire move my ourselves. We moved our entire apartment (save for a couple big things that we hired movers for) by ourselves. I offered to have family help and I would pay them because they are having money issues but 3 times they said they would help, they never showed. I feel this is relevant otherwise I wouldn’t include it. My husband cleaned the apartment on his day off.

Save for my mother, nobody has checked on us to see if we need anything, if we are doing OK, how things are progressing with the close (this has been a process from hell), nothing. Absolutely nothing.

We’ve had to ask people many times to come visit us and see the house and none of them wanted to. Ever. Until they did, and something magical happened.

Along with our house which is a good size and has 3 bedrooms (we planned it so we would have one for my office and we are trying to have children again so all rooms are spoken for), we also have a big yard, which we also wanted so we could buy a storm shelter because we live in tornado alley.

Anyways, as soon as ANYONE sees the house and the yard they almost IMMEDIATELY ask us how much we would charge them to put a trailer or a guest house out there and they will pay us lot rent. Remember that part about us not even having ACTUALLY closed yet? The fact that none of these people wanted to be around to help move or ask if we were ok when less than I month ago this process caused me to have a major panic attack? But oh, if he live in your yard we’ll always have internet and our rent will be cut in half. Are you actually kidding me?

Buying this house has meant a lot to me - starting the next chapter of my life with my husband, trying again to start a family, proving to myself that my hard work over all these years IS paying off and I’m making so much progress. This place is supposed to be my sanctuary. I don’t need people coming over constantly to use the internet or beg us for a lot space. I want to live my life with my husband in my house with our future children in relative peace and I don’t want to give someone our land so they can steal our internet and pay less than half as much for rent.

So I said no to both people who asked. The original question was, Am I The Asshole? Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. I just feel like I worked so hard for this and I kept reaching out for help that never came and now they want to live on our land. Fuck that.

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I’d say no.

It sounds like their relationship to you is a take-take-take relationship. They never gave back during this story. It’s “your” (it will be, you’ll get through the title mess!) house, YOUR rules, and if they called you an asshole for saying that, then tell them to buy a house and ban you from it.

You put in all the effort, all the hard work, all the time, energy, and money, to earn what you have. Those are your achievements, and your rewards. Yes, it’s nice to share those, but considering how they’re approaching it they just see it as an opportunity to improve their lives, without any of the work associated with it.

I definitely think you should just hold onto it. I’m very much someone who also views home as a sanctuary, a place to get away from it all. Treasure and protect that feeling, and keep your home feeling like a home.

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NTA. Those people are mooches.

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This made my day, sir. Thank you.

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Thank you. So its not just me.

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No! They can go fuck themselves.

This made me laugh at my desk, but I agree wholeheartedly.

It is your house to open up and share as you see fit. Have parties and game nights as often or seldom as you want. If you really wanted to let someone stay on property, you could extend that invitation; but you owe it to no one, and there should be no expectations that you allow it.

What really chaps me here is that they didn’t offer to help with anything or check in on you, or even express any desire to come see the place. It’s like the story of “The Little Red Hen.” Maybe consider that for a stocking stuffer at Christmas :wink:

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