Am I wrong for being angry?

From sammmy2000: So my family wants to visit a restaurant that sells Indian and Chinese foods and they know that I’m allergic to few things and can get sick from eating but of course I’m just being spoiled, my dad said if I didn’t like anything then I can get food from somewhere else but I think he’s doing that just because he doesn’t want to feel bad about what he did… I’m so hurt and angry… they know my allergies… why they think it’s fine, my mom blamed because they want to visit a restaurant but same problem doesn’t sell foods without my allergies


From xd_star: Your feelings are completely vaild you deserve to go to a restaurant that doesn’t sell food your allergic to. Your not being spoiled your worried about your physical health and I’m sorry your family is not being more aware

From sammmy2000: Sadly I’m use to them being this way

From xd_star: Rember that as ur parents they hold a responsibility of including you and doing hair minimum. Will they listen if u try bringing up how u get angry when they don’t include u or ignore your allergies

From sammmy2000: Nope… they’re always been like that… not just allergies alot of things

From breecarey2022: Do you mind me asking what happens

From sammmy2000: Unable to breathe and my body itchs and my body feels hot

From xd_star: Try telling them u feel sick if u don’t want to go or say u would rather sit it out

From sammmy2000: That will cause a fight…

From rohini_868: Can you contact the restaurant before hand, explain your allergies and ask if they would be able to prepare something allergen free? Some places can leave out certain in ingredients if you ask them. …

Would your parents allow you to skip going to the restaurant?

When you become ill, do your parents take care of you? Have they seen you go through the allergic response? Would it help if you got the family doctor to explain the severity of your allergy to them, and let them know how badly it actually affects you?

I’m so sorry that they aren’t more understanding. That sounds very frustrating and invalidating.

1 Like

You’re not wrong for being angry. It is objectively upsetting when people around you know about your allergies but seemingly choose to ignore it. You have expressed your discomfort and argued why, but it seems to have been met by more frustration on your dad’s end, when you would have logically expected for him to simply answer and eventually make accommodations. I’m sorry that this has been somehow turned into a guilt trip for you, Sammy. I have food allergies and most of the time it’s already difficult to not feel like a “bother” because of it, so I can only imagine how it must be in your position when you have to almost justify something you never chose nor asked in the first place. There is definitely no blame there to put on you. Your health is not a matter of comfort - it is here a matter of safety. I’m sorry that your family did not react in a more comprehensive, supportive way at the moment. Hopefully, with time they would be able to accept it and not see it as an obstacle. Rather as a way to meet you at a different level.

Your anger is not misplaced. Your frustration is understandable in this situation, Sammy.

1 Like

Hey there Sammy :raised_hands:t2:

It’s understandable that you are feeling hurt and angry about the situation you faced with your allergies. It must be tough when family plans don’t take into account your allergies :blue_heart:

Your health is important; so it’s absolutely right to be unhappy or upset when you aren’t listened to. It could be that your dad doesn’t fully understand how your allergies impact you, or how they affect you emotionally. This goes for the rest of your family too. They too might understand :heart:

Remember, your feelings are valid, and you have the right to express them. I hope you can find a solution that ensures your safety and comfort while also allowing your family to enjoy the restaurant. Sending you lots of support and understanding! :hugs::heart:

From sammmy2000: He understands he deals with the same allergies, I just don’t understand why he’s like that


he does??
Well that is very unexpected. so he knows that allergies are “real”!!

But then, what does HE eat at those restaurants?

From sammmy2000: We found something he ate… he wants me to try

“I just don’t understand why he’s like that”

→ Yea, it’s hard to say as long as he doesn’t expresses it himself. To me personally, it sounds like he may have his own way to deal with his allergies (I’m personally not always reasonable with mine), but he unfortunately puts you in the same space as if he expected you to do the same/live the same way. His adverse reaction could have also been out of pride and shame for being wrong in a given situation. Sometimes, even when someone know they did something wrong, they persist in their initial action or decision and fault the person who is trying to show them that they were wrong.

Hopefully he will learn to hear you out and understand your point of view regarding this situation over time.