An update on the schedule

my mum got involved and ruined it all, i had my sister doing the routine for a couple days and she was going to school, but mum started taking over saying that she should go to bed later, keeping her awake when i was putting her to sleep and such, my mum seemed happy with what i was doing so idk why shes trying to sabotage it, im very close to giving up cos my mum just keeps getting in the way, i literally cant do much when i put my sister to bed and then my mum goes in there to bother her and crap for hours


Hey Candy,

Oh no, I am so sorry that your mother is causing these problems. It is heartbreaking to read she’s behaving in this very inappropriate way and makes decisions in her parenting style that are obviously detrimental to your sister’s health. What does your mother say why she’s keeping your sister up that long? Children at that age need to sleep 10-11 hours and it has a negative impact on their health when they are sleep-deprived. It seems like she doesn’t have any awareness of this.

Do you have any relatives you could contact and ask for help? Are there any local services you could talk to? There are also anonymous helplines for children that might give you advice on finding a good way to support you sister.

This is absolutely amazing and a great achievement of yours. Despite your doubts you’re successful in improving your sister’s routine. I’m so very proud of you. Make sure to take a moment to realize what you achieved. It was limited in time because of circumstances that are out of your control, but that doesn’t minimize your efforts in any way. It’s amazing to see that your sister has such a wonderful and caring sibling.

Take good care of yourself, too. You’re loved. :hrtlegolove:

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From: twixremix

hi candy,

i’m glad you are able to support your mom at least in the bedtime process for your sister. i know how much of a huge help that is for a parent to have which is why i hope you can talk about this with your mom. maybe find a balance or meet-in-the-middle kinda agreement so that your sister’s bedtime can stay consistent since that is a huge deal for growing kids. maybe she can get involved w/ reading your sister bedtime stories? wishing you the best of luck in this, my friend!


From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Candy, Im sorry that your Mum is messing with your set routine already its such a shame when you had put so much heart and soul into it. I wonder if it might be worth as another try to apease your mother if you were to sit down together and work aout a routine that was good for your sister that you both agreed on? do you that would be possible? If you mum likes your sisnter to stay up later perhaps agree to allow her to stay up a bit a couple times a week?? just see what you both can agree on without any conflict so your sister knows what she is doing too. I hope it all goes ok. I know how hard you are trying and i think you are one amazing brother. Much Love Lisa. x

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From: Taladien

You are being the absolute best sibling ever. The amount of energy and care you are putting forth to help your sister through this is truly admirable, and I highly commend you for it. It speaks volumes to the love you have for your family. I am sorry you have to also deal with a parent who seems to be working against your sister’s best interests. Do you have other family members that you can talk to about this? Maybe have them talk to your mom about encouraging healthier habits and schedules for your sister? At any rate, you are doing so much, and that is absolutely an amazing show of character for you. Thank you for being awesome.

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hey again, Candy! That’s so awesome that you got your sister going on the routine and she was going to school. That’s such a great stride and I hope you can see that as encouragement to keep trying even with your mum making things more difficult.

Do you think your mum is feeling like her role is being taken from her and she is being pushed aside? I know you said she isn’t a good caregiver to either of you but it’s still possible she is feeling like you taking over is an attack against her. What if you tried to pull her in as an ally with your sister’s routine? Make it like you three are all part of the same team. Team Routine! or something corny like that.

I hope you manage to find something to help because your sister being on a routine like the one you laid out is such an important thing especially for such a young child :hrtlegolove:

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hi eloquentpetrichor

I think its more she sees my sister as her only remaining child, she has expressed many times she doesnt like us teens (me and my 2 brothers) and have told us through out our lives that she was planning to give us away to our fathers or someone else when we turned 12 ish, seeing as my sister is 7 and its my mums only remaining “baby” she wants as much time with her as possible, which means keeping her up at night and such but at the same time my mum doesnt give any proper attention to her only when shes trying to sleep or shes doing stuff with her brothers or me.

hi taladien

I unfortunately dont have any family who would be willing to help as they are all either exactly like my mum or i have personally lost contact with because of things they have done to me, and i did try and talk to my mum about it but she doesnt really care

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