Back to heartsupport

Annoyed with Someone's Presence


#1

This is a weird post for me to make, but this is something that I’ve found myself struggling with a lot recently, and well it’s getting to the point that it’s effecting my mental health, and well I’m not okay with it.

There’s this person, let’s call them Josh. Josh frustrates me to no end, and well I just don’t get it. I have Josh blocked, but anytime I see their name, or see their post through other things, or see other people mentioning them, it just triggers me. My biggest pet peeve is fake people, and I believe that maybe not that this person is fake, but rather they over exaggerate everything that they are going through, and that they are attention seeking.

I’ve found myself pretty well just staying quiet about the situation, but it’s just getting to the point that I can’t handle it anymore. I see them constantly manipulating people that I care about, and attention seeking, and it pisses me off to no end. This person leaches onto people, and then gets upset and makes shitty comments when people don’t respond, can’t talk to them, or chooses not to engage in the conversation.

This person is “trying to help themselves” but it seems every day it’s something new, or the same story. And I just can’t deal with it. I know that I need to show compassion and love to this person, but I just can’t. I can’t deal with this person being manipulative and attention seeking, and it effects the people I care about. I’m over their bullshit to put it simply, do I confront this person, or how do I handle this?

Thanks


#2

Hey monkey,
I would have to say that personally I would confront them. Like 100% especially if they are causing you distress. I’m sorry you are having to deal with such matters when you are just about to graduate ( BTW I am super stoked for you and your accomplishments, stay awesome! ) but those types of people should be called out.

Stay strong hold fast and follow your heart


#3

Hey friend,
I would say just to put this situation past you. If it is affecting your friends, maybe give them a heads up. I’m guessing they are probably adults though right, and should realize who they choose to help. As for you, don’t let it mess with your head, especially during graduation. In my opinion, if it isn’t hurting anyone physically, you should burn this bridge.
Maybe this is the only way this person knows how to cope, is by looking strongly for someone to listen to them. Especially being from this community, we never know what someone else is going through. I see you around a lot friend, and you’re always so positive. Don’t let this situation take that away from you. I mean, would confronting this person really help you out, or just cause more friction?
I hope this advice was helpful, if not I apologize. I’m so happy that you are graduating! It was so great to hear you announce it when you stopped by Doc’s that day. I really hope the future holds nothing but the best for you. I’m still here if you ever need to chat, much love my beautiful friend!


#4

I don’t get this way often but there are a couple people in my life that effects me similarly. One person I blocked and have no contact with but I see them all over everywhere I hang out and it’s really hard to deal with. They often make me feel like they are trying to push me out so that I’ll feel like I should just go away because they are there. It’s frustrating sharing mutual friends. I get anxiety every time I see them.

There are also a couple people I know from around that are similar to what you explain. Where it feels like there’s a lot of attention grabbing and a need to constantly have something going on so that people are directing time and attention at them. Very dominant. But, I try not to be judgmental of others. We are all going through things and maybe these people don’t know how to be any different right now. And without knowing what they are doing wrong or confrontation they won’t know how to fix it. I know sometimes this can be very hard to do on your own, so maybe finding help from someone else that is safe and healthy that can maybe step in a little may be a good thing.

Things won’t get better if we don’t address what is wrong. So we have to find a way to confront them ourselves or find someone else who can help. In a gentle way. Certainly don’t want to be mean or hurtful. It’s always good to be aware and caring of each other’s feelings.

If you need a friend, I’m a inbox away. I know sometimes it’s nice to have a safe place to confide in. I assure you it won’t go anywhere.

Other ways to resolve is obviously yes, blocking and ignoring. I know this is less easily done if the person is always where you are and being talked about or at. It makes it hard to ignore their presence. Similar to the first person I mentioned. They’re just everywhere and share mutual friends.

So I hear you and I can relate. I hope it gets better as I know how anxiety inducing it can be. And stressful.