Another update on the dad situation

While me and my dad still have our days where things arnt so pleasant. I do think I am finally starting to notice a decrease in bad days and an increase on our good days.

When the bad days happen tho I still can’t help but feel so let down, like he isn’t being as patient as I want him to I understand he wants me to find a job but he needs to understand that that isn’t so easy rn considering we live in such a small town where there arnt very many huge businesses that hire too often…

I’m just yearning for the day to come where there’s no more yelling, no more fighting, no more shaming and no more screaming. Better communication, better understanding and overall a better relationship. On good days I really see that coming but on bad days I don’t… I try my best to stay positive but some days are hard.

But I’m thankful for our progress so far. I do try to keep in mind that it takes a bit of time for bad habits to break and it’s not going to all happen immediately. Just hoping it gets a bit better as time goes on.

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Hey @Andy,

It definitely takes time for a relationship to be improved. Each person needs to both unlearn old ways to communicate, and learn new ones that are healthier. The very fact that you notice better days here and there is really good as it shows that your relationship with your dad is not doomed. There are certainly external factors at play that are impacting the both of you, which can be reflected in the way you communicate - like this need to find a job at the moment.

I really hope that the good days will keep increasing so, in the long run, our dad and you could have some solid foundations in terms of loving, patient and respectful communication.

Thank you so much for sharing these updates with the rest of the community here. :hrtlegolove:

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From: SuchBlue

Hi Andy,

I’m glad that you’ve started to see an increase on your good days and value them more. I think all of us feel a bit let down when we have bad days and feel like everything is against us. I can definitely relate with living in a small town so there isn’t much going on, as I live on an island so my town is even smaller, but if you look enough you’ll definitely be able to find something within the community. Job hunting is what it is, it’s always annoying

I believe that your relationship with your dad will continue to improve more and more and you definitely have our support. I’m really happy that you’re thankful for your progress and I hope that you will have even more progress soon :hrtlegolove: Thank you for posting and sharing your thoughts with us

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Andy, I am very happy to hear your progress update, when it comes to relationships with our parents sometimes as we grow its not always a lot different from relationships with anyone else, sometimes we don’t always get along with them, we love them, we absolutely should be able to respect one another but we don’t always get along but its great that things are beginning to improve and I think now its started to go that way it will continue hopefully and if that makes you feel happier your confidence will begin to grow and you will feel able to get out there and try new things. I know its hard finding work, it was hard enough before the pandemic and now its harder still but maybe you can find something small to start with, just something part time, even doing a paper delivery round is something to get you started, it would make you feel better about yourself and maybe improve your dads mood too. Have a think about it. Ultimately its a way of making home life better, making you a happier person which will rub on on others and as in the post I responded to last night, it passes then rubs off onto others and that’s how we start to make changes and make the world better, everyone of us need to our bit. I truly wish you all the very best. Much Love Lisa x

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello again, Andy!

I’m so glad to hear things have been going better with your dad and that even when you have bad days you try to keep the positive outlook knowing that change takes time. It is just so heartwarming to read.

I know you say that you struggling to find work because there are no big companies hiring. But I come from a small town and when I think of my hometown I think of one word: farms. Do you have a lot of farms in your local area? Farms are always looking to hire some extra help to tend to the fields or pick their crops. My siblings picked fruit as a summer job once. You get to be by yourself, for the most part, just out in the fields and out in the sun. It may be an option as a job for you this summer. Or helping at one of the farms stands where they sell products. Moving product around and throwing out the bad ones. It wouldn’t be long term but it could get you out of the house and help you feel a little more independent. I have picked strawberries for fun with my family every year since I was a child and it is very enjoyable. You can wear headphones and listen to whatever you want while going about your task. And whenever you get peckish you find a really delicious looking bit of fruit and have a moment of enjoyment savouring it.

Anyway… I hope you can find a job that you enjoy and I hope that things continue improving between you and your dad. Keep moving forward :hrtlegolove:

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From: twixremix

hi andy,

happy to connect with you again, my friend. i am so relieved to hear that there’s a solid trend of better days compared to the bad ones with your dad. i’ve been following your posts/stories and am rooting for the both of you to find a healthy balance with each other. it’s understandable how the bad days can still get you down even when the good outweighs the hard days. i would say my own family is very connected but we still have very awful fights - it’s bound to happen with people so close with you unfortunately. so going in with the expectation that “yeah, some disagreements may still happen but we’re doing better than before” is a good scope of thinking to start at.

i am wishing you the best of luck in finding a job that brings you some enjoyment whether it be remote/virtual (more options since you are in a smaller town) or in your area. you got this, andy! i am celebrating along with you on the positive progress in finding understanding between you and your dad. you’re doing awesome through this whole situation and i admire the hard work you’ve put into this effort to repair y’all’s relationship. wishing you and your dad an awesome week ahead of continued progress and good times!

love,
twix

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