Anxiety about a friend

My friend found out he has covid today. We are online friends and live 10,000 miles apart so i already felt really useless, unable to help him. He said he has to go to the clinic for a pbc?? i think it was? i’m not sure… but he had went and when he got there he said he lost consciousness and that he hit his head pretty hard. I was already worried something might happen to him because of covid and now i’m bawling my eyes out thinking something could be wrong with his head. He went to bed so I won’t even know if he’s okay for the next who knows how many hours but i really hope he will be. I don’t want anything to happen to him. What if something happens in his sleep? What if it causes his brain to bleed or something? I’m just really worried and i can’t even do anything. I don’t know what i’ll do if something happens to him. I love him so much. He’s like my family. He’s the only person i really even talk to. He’s the only person i trust. He makes me happy. He’s my best friend. I cant lose him. If i lost him… i wouldn’t want to live anymore. I cant live in a world without him in it. It would just be constant suffering again… i can’t do it… i cant lose him… i really hope he will be okay.

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Hi echo.
I am so so sorry that the people you care about the most are being taken away from you or are at a risk of being so. :cry: It is unfair and it should not be that way. Health is the most precious thing we have because without it we cant be happy. I cant compare but I have been in situacions where the people I care about were at risk of dying and one of them did not make it… It is always so hard to deal with a loss of a loved one but when you just dont know how your loved one is doing or if they are ok… that can tear you apart.

The more you think about them the more you are in pain. No amount of anxiety has ever changed something we cant control. I know it is hard but you are putting yourself throught so much pain, please try to distract yourself in any way you can. Sleeping, reading, listening to songs or watching stupid videos… it does not matter. The goal is to not suffer. You will learn the answers you seek but you must wait and while you are doing that you cant torture yourself with those thoughts of what if. If nothing else works try to put youself to sleep. You have suffered too much already… Stay strong. I wish your friend the best of luck so they can heal…

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Helplessness, or more accurately a lack of control, can be one of the most terrifying things in life. It seems to be for me, quite often. And unfortunately it’s a problem I have not learned to fully deal with.

I know the Serenity Prayer talks about accepting the things you cannot change. But parts of my mind - especially the logical parts - have tried to find counter-arguments to this. I’ve actually come up with one I fall on for support quite a lot (including at this moment) but I won’t share it as I don’t think it’s a healthy attitude for me or for anyone else.

I hope everything works out for your friend. Mortality with COVID is still relatively low, so the odds are with him. All you can do is send positive energy or prayers and try to stay calm. Stay hydrated, eat properly, get a decent amount of sleep, exercise, and focus on your breathing.

And come here to talk and seek support. Nobody can handle life on their own.

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Hey @echo,

This is a very stressful situation - especially for not knowing how things are going. I’m so sorry your friend has covid and felt/hurt himself like this. When someone we love so dearly is affected by any health issue, it can be really hard to not think about the worst case scenarios. However, rest assured that by being in the hospital he is receiving all the care he needs. There are people there who are going to monitor him everyday and make sure that the shock on his head didn’t have bad consequence.

As you’ve posted a couple of days ago, may I ask if there’s any update? Do you know if he’s still there at the moment and/or how is his situation? But even more, how are you doing?

I’m sending love your way. :hrtlegolove:

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He’s doing okay. His covid symptoms are pretty sucky and have been for the past few days but his head seems alright. It’s been 72 hours and he hasn’t had any issue so i’m relieved. Still kind of worried something might happen though. I think he’ll recover fine from covid :slight_smile: I wish I could do more to help him but it sucks that I can’t. But hey if you happen to know anything that’ll help a bad sore throat and cough then feel free to answer! lol. I’m doing okay on that part other than a little worrying still and feeling guilty that I can’t help him feel better or recover. Other things are bothering me but it’s alright :slight_smile:

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Oh and I believe he was either discharged that night or the next morning. He’s at home so he’s not doing bad enough to be hospitalized which is really relieving :))

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What a relief, indeed! Thank you so much for these updates, @echo. I am really glad that your friend can be discharged. That’s a very good sign!

It’s understandable to feel bad and helpless when there is something happening that you wish you could control or change positively. However, it is also unfair to put expectations on yourself that are absolutely impossible to reach. You can’t do the job of a doctor. And it’s okay to learn to be at peace with that. What I am sure though, is that you’re an amazing friend to your friend. You know, feeling better and recovering is not just physical. It’s also about feeling loved, cared for, supported, heard, not alone. This matters so, so much, even when it’s about physical health. Never lose sight of that. Your impact and presence in your friend’s life are significant. Sometimes it’s not about what we do, but just who we are. And you, Echo, are obviously a loving and caring friend. :hrtlegolove:

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