Recite the Serenity Prayer on repeat, either to God or to the universe depending where you stand on spirituality:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Right now there is a lot of stuff out of your control, like your wife’s actions and the fallout. If you fight those things, you will get torn apart.
However, there are a lot of things you can control, like your diligence in counseling and meds. You can’t control when the end results hit, or what those results might be, but you can work like hell to get there. Put your doctors to work!
When something feels like it’s spinning out of control, take a breath and consider whether or not it’s something you can control. If you can’t control the thing, control how you respond to it. Your wife won’t crush your life if you don’t take ownership of her actions. Getting through this won’t be easy at all, and there will be days it feels damn near impossible. Swim with the currents–don’t fight them, and don’t let them sweep you away.
My other advice is to lean on anybody you can, whether it’s family, friends, church, or us here. You don’t have to go through this alone.
I wish you well. Hold fast