Recently I’ve pushed myself to start going out with my friends on the weekends and trying to have a good time. I struggle with anxiety and feeling comfortable when I’m out, I feel that I’m fine until my friends want me to dance, this then seems to trigger panic attacks where I feel awful and break down.(This has happened multiple times)
I’m going to university next year and my family feels that I should maybe miss uni for a year and focus on myself however, I feel putting myself in a situation where I’m meeting new people could help me. I’m stuck as I fear that if people I meet want me to dance Ill feel the same as I have on previous nights out. I then also fear that If I don’t dance Ill be missing out on the experience and be thought of differently.
Hey friend,
I used to have anxiety going out as well. Mine was mainly associated with my appearance. I used to get really nervous on what I would wear outside as I felt I was going to be judged. Since then I have started to work out which has boosted my confidence and made me more comfortable around strangers. I’ve also started meditating which helps me stay more grounded in the moment rather than getting lost in my head. Now I’m not saying these two things cured me of my anxiety but it has led to a lot less overthinking and panicking. I hope this could help you as well
I totally understand how you are feeling about this stuff. There have been times where I just don’t want to go out with friends for whatever reason at the time, and that is 100% okay. Also, as someone who is not a good dancer in any way and does not like dancing in public, I totally get how you are feeling about that stuff as well.
My advice is, when your friends want to go out and you don’t want to, don’t feel pressured or forced into doing it. Do what makes you feel better. If you want to take a night to yourself then do it, if you don’t want to dance then by all means don’t do it. If they are your friends then they should understand it. Don’t let them force you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. The same thing goes for college. If you want to go to college and experience what that all entails then do it, just make sure you are ready to do it and if you don’t think you can then I would say take some time to yourself until you are ready. You wont be missing out on anything if you do.
Hey @DAIDAVIS, I’m sorry you’re struggling with these things right now. It sounds like these things are holding you back from experiencing your social life the way you want to, I totally understand that and it sucks.
First of all, I wanna say that it doesn’t matter about how others will think of you differently. If others will think of you differently because you won’t do one thing like ‘dancing’, then I personally would say they’re not worth being your friends. But I don’t know the context of these situations or how you are with your friends, but if they really are friends to you they should be accepting of the fact that you are uncomfortable with these situations and should at least try to accommodate you. My biggest piece of advice, if I had any to give, would be to talk to your friends about this. Maybe suggest other activities you all can do together, that you ALL can be comfortable doing?
Edit: You’re the only one that can know what is best for you, and if it has to be different from others around you then so be it but there is NOTHING wrong with that.
Let us know how this goes, and I hope you take the opportunity to listen to the advice others post here as well. If you ever need to talk more, post here again or hang out on the Discord.
I have been there where my Anxiety takes over like when there’s too many people in the bus because, it got trigger from something embarrassing.
I’m not sure, if your situation is trigger from something before too?
Since, you motioned that it’s not the first time, it happens multiple times.
I want say that…
It’s good thing that you are trying to go out more often but, Remember to not push yourself if you are not comfortable
about doing something.
What’s important are…
Taking care of yourself
Don’t do something that you are uncomfortable for others, you have the right to not do it as a person.
There can be other activities to do while socializing with friends. I don’t know about other universities, but the ones I’ve been to have clubs for various interests. Some clubs I’ve seen do martial arts, fencing, juggling, Disney, scholastic, chess, volunteering opportunities, appreciation for a specific small town a few hours away… If there’s an interest, there’s either a school club for it or you can make one.
la Ansiedad es muy dificil de manejarla cuando no sabes la raíz que la causa, busca ayuda para determinar el motivo, y enfrentarlo es cosas de valientes, yo se que eres uno de ellos, la meditacion es una fuerte arma para enfrentar la ansiedad.
If I got panic attacks dancing, I wouldn’t like dancing. You can just say “I don’t like to dance.” whenever someone asks you to dance. Eventually, nobody will ask you to dance, you won’t have panic attacks about dancing, and you will still have friends because you will still be going out and living rather than feeling terrible and staying at home.
If you say “I don’t like to dance” to one person, then they might feel snubbed. If you say “I don’t like to dance” to everybody, then soon people will catch on that you just don’t like to dance, nobody is getting snubbed, and the best way to get to know you is by doing something else. Dancing isn’t important. Doing something social that makes you approachable is the point of these parties and dancing fits. Find something social that you are comfortable with that still allows other people who might be scared to meet you to meet you anyway. It might take you awhile to get a reputation for not liking to dance, but you can also get and/or maintain a reputation for being social at the same time.
If you need to take a year off, you need to take a year off. University is different and wonderful and you can be blinded to that beauty if you are struggling with mental illness. Then again, I love meeting new people and doing so helps me more than anything else. Maybe there is a happy medium? Like going and being able to get out if things prove to be too much. Or reducing how many classes you have and use the time off to work on you. Maybe half a year. Gather as much information as possible and talk it over with your family. Remember that they can see things that you cannot. If you need to take a year off, take a year off. I just don’t want you hating yourself if you do. I also don’t want you hating yourself if you don’t.
