It is real. Rare maybe, but real anyway. If it was not real, the concept wouldn’t be within your frame of reference. I’m in a relationship in which unconditional love was present not too long after it began. It doesn’t mean never getting irritated with someone, but it forms a foundation of kindness and compassion that doesn’t get violated. Is there someone you love unconditionally?
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was in college, but it still helped and you’re right, it lifted a weight of shame off my shoulders. I have some OCD traits, but for the most part I take advantage of them. I think one of the main ones is perfectionism. For example, when I detail a car, I polish everything including door hinges and latches, under the weather stripping, the bottoms of the doors, hood and trunk lids, around the gas filler cap. Every Thursday, it’s vacuumed and dusted inside. I’m pretty meticulous inside the house too.
I admire your introspection. You are evolving into a much wiser person. By the way, even those who love unconditionally will sometimes disappoint you. Even when the tone of a relationship is unconditionally loving, we are human and we do screw up a lot. When the foundation of a relationship is unconditional love, even screw ups can be instrumental in growing stronger and closer to each other.
Because you have a deep understanding of unconditional love, even if there is no one presently worthy of it in your life, it’s entirely possible that some of those around you will begin to understand that kind of love. There are others in the world who are willing to give and receive unconditional love. Finding them is the issue.
The words of Mother Teresa came to mind as I read your post, so here they are:
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
Inscribed on the wall of Mother Teresa’s children’s home in Calcutta.”
― Mother Teresa