So, I submitted my college application for the art college I’m interested in attending. I did all the extras that weren’t required (an essay, teacher recommendation letters, plus extra portfolio images) and was told by my admissions councilor that I have a strong portfolio, and that I would hear back in 2 weeks.
I am in a constant state of nervousness. It’s subtle, but it affects my work and I’m actually writing this when I should be working on school work, because I cannot focus due to the anxiety I feel. I do not want to feel like this for the next 14 days or so, but all I can do is worry.
This college would be ideal for me to get into. Essentially I need to get in here because I’m worried about my transition into adulthood, and I need a place to become an adult and also work on my artwork. I’m not going to college to graduate and get some piece of paper, I’m there to get adjusted and work on my portfolio for my future career. I actually would prefer to not finish college and after about 2 or 3 years, get hired out by a company or small business.
One of the things that makes me nervous is the fact that my pre college course teacher brought up that she thought maybe I was more suited for the movie and fx type of college instead of the art college. This put me through a loop, and it’s been sitting in my brain ever since. I would argue that my work IS artwork, and that despite my line of art being relative to the movie and film industry, it does NOT mean that I want to go to a school for that specifically.
I’m just nervous, anxious, blah blah blah. All that crud. It’s taking a toll on me and I’m more annoyed by it than anything. I hate getting worked up about small shite like this.
Thank you all for your support, and I hope that I can hear some positive feedback or words of encouragement.
-HMM
(Since I mentioned my art in this passage, I’m showing some images of my entirley original art to give a feel of what it is that I do, since some people who have never seen my posts may be unfamiliar with my art)
First of all congratulations on submitting your college application and for putting in all the work! It’s good to read that you already heard as a feedback that you have a strong portfolio. I absolutely understand that this is a very nerve-wracking time until you hear back. You did all you could do and now this isn’t in your hands anymore, whether you worry about it or not. Worrying won’t change anything about the outcome. When the anxiety comes up take some deep breaths to find back to the here and now. Become aware of the anxiety and try to observe it, again taking deep breaths. When you’re anxious, you live in the future because you constantly think about the outcome. The more you practice to be in the present moment, the less you worry. It requires some patience because we get lost in such thoughts very easily, but it is possible to improve this.
Another way to cope with the anxiety is distraction. It depends a bit on what your nervousness looks like. Would physical activity help you to channel your energy into something different?
Even though we think that there is only one single solution and it has to be all or nothing, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t any other options and that we’ll be unhappy for the rest of our lives. There is always a way, maybe not necessarily the one we have thought about, but there is a way. I think the extent of your worries comes from this black and white thinking. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand your perspective and know what it feels like to be stressed out about such things. However, this type of thinking isn’t really helpful to us and absorbs so much of our energy. I’d suggest to practice become aware when you’re automated thinking patterns set in and to keep putting things into a rational perspective.
External advice is there to listen to it and to take some time to think about it. Sometimes the advice is helpful, sometimes it isn’t. There is nothing wrong with accepting advice, but there’s also nothing wrong with saying ‘no, thank you’. Check in with yourself, what is your gut feeling? Does the advice make sense to you? Only you know what is the right thing for you to do. When I have to take important life decisions I consider all points and I know deep down inside that this the best I can do for now. I don’t know any better. Maybe this is a good decision, maybe it isn’t. I’ll figure it out. But it is me who takes the decision, not anyone else.
I hope some of this is helpful. Best of luck for your application, I keep my fingers crossed. And thank you for sharing your amazing artwork with us!!
It is truly amazing that you are giving yourself a chance to reach your dreams and open doors that are necessary to get there. For sure, the potential outcomes are very important, so it’s stressful, it feels like a real risk, which shows how much it matters to you! The good thing with this kind for situation is that somehow you can only gain something from it - either what you expected, or at least a feedback that could make you even more in your art. Trying can never equal failing. You’re not giving up and you’re not preventing yourself from having a chance to get where you want. That is strength.
I hope with all my heart that the response is going to be positive. Fingers crossed! You are obviously incredibly passionate about art and creativity. There is this spark within you that truly deserves some stepping stones to flourish even more!
I hope you can use some healthy outlets as well to ease the tension until then. The anxiety will probably remain until you have the relief of a clear response. Make sure to take some breaks to breathe, to have fun, to enjoy things you like and would help you relax. You’ll be okay.
