Any Advice

[BroerDJG]

I have not used this website before but someone linked it to me, sorry if I do something wrong. But I am wondering what I can do for my friend. She has had a rough life, her mom was and is hurt some days. She is worried about friends leaving or changes or herself changing. I texted her back but she never texted back. I don’t know how to comfort her. I feel she lets her anger off at me. I tell her I care about her. She says she wants to die and she hates her family. She also may be sick, I am not sure if she wants rest or not. Sorry for my trash organization of this post and probably trash grammar. Thank you for reading! Gb!

[Ashwell]

Hi BroerDJG
Thank you for posting. I think the best you can do for you friend is to go with her to sit down and talk. She may release some of her anger at you so please be ready for it. The best way you can prepare for that is to realise that she is in pain and she needs to release it. Dont be defencive. If she tells you something like “I hate you” tell her “I am sorry if I did something to hurt you but I care about you.” She does not want to hurt you she just wants the pain to stop.
Try to be there for her. Check up on her from time to time if she is ok. (From time to time does not mean every hour or every five minutes dont be creepy about it ). Try to go out with her or invite her to some activities she might enjoy. Be patient with her she will not improve in a day. When you feel like she is comfortable enough around you talk to her about seeing a doctor about her mental health. Dont say things like she is crazy or something. Show concern and support but dont be pushy about it.
Thats the best advice i can give. Hope it helps.

[Lisalovesfeathers]

Hi @BroerDJG Its lovely to meet you, welcome.

I cant say more than than @Ashwell he has covered what I would have said to you and then some, I just wanted to say what an amazing friend you are for doing this for your friend and depending on how you think she would react ( I don’t want you to upset her more than she already is) maybe give her the details of this site?
it is just another thought of a way for her to gets her thoughts out if she wanted to.
I wish you luck and again thank you for being a wonderful friend. I wish everyone had someone like you.
Much Love
Lisa

[Micro]

Hey @BroerDJG,

Welcome on the forum! Nothing wrong with what you’ve said or shared. That’s what this community is all about: supporting each other during difficult times that life throw at us. Thank you so much for reaching out.

Based on what you described, it seems that your friend is going through a rough time and has a lot on her plate right now. It creates some deep emotions and she certainly feels lost somehow as she is trying to learn to cope. As her friend, just by reaching out and lettnig her know that you are here to support her, you’re already doing a lot. Communication can be hard when we’re hurting. Most people tend to put walls around themselves in order to stay safe. When you are outside of it, it might take some time for the person you want to help to learn to trust you more and put down their personal defenses. Somehow, that’s what she does when she lashes out at you. It says something. However, you deserve to be respected too - side note: it’s okay to have boundaries if there are situations or words that you can’t take in. That wouldn’t make you a bad friend or a bad person. We all have limits and it’s okay to affirm them when it’s needed.

Overall, as your dear friends said before: don’t try to push her to talk. If she wants to reach out, she will when she would feel a little more comfortable or calm. What matters is just to leave the door open on your end, and it will up to her to decide if she wants to ask for your support or not. Make sure to be honest about your intentions as well. Express your care if she allows a conversation to happen, without overwhelming her. The very fact of knowing that someone is there, even if it’s just to listen, can make a big difference and give strength to the person who’s struggling.

You’re a good friend to her. I respect you a lot for reaching out on her behalf. It shows how much you care about wanting to do the right thing. Thank you for caring the way you do. I hope you make sure to take care of yourself too.