Art fears

So, my art therapist told me to look into getting a job in art because she said it’s professional. And for a while now I’ve been wanting to do this but I have alot of fears about art. One thing I haven’t talked about in ages, I, kinda just make excuses for it because I’m scared to admit it. I don’t usually like being prideful about my work, but my fears are one thing that aalllwwwaays gets the best of me. There have been so many times I’ve wanted to share my art with people and every time I do I shortly delete it unexpectedly, this is due to those fears. it’s because the fact is I don’t have a media to share this art in one place and gain followers, so have this dumb fear that any art I share will be stolen by someone. Ik it’s dumb, but since I was rlly young I’ve gotten my art stolen and people who have wanted to sabotage or destroy my work out of jealousy, one person even went as far as to get me entered into a contest and make a fake account of that contest and have me enter into it, and then pretend to be the art hoster and steal my art for the real contest, all because “they couldn’t draw”. This was someone I was kinda close to, so I was extremely pissed about it, almost attacked them but held myself back since I wasn’t dumb enough to fall for the terrible host act that was so obviously spoken by a kid. As that’s one story, I wouldn’t be so worried if I had a social media to post my art on, but the thing is I don’t want a social media. I know it’s what I need for a job but for fucks sakes, I’m not a socializer. My art is my treasure and I don’t want to risk it’s safety. I’ve seen servers completley dedicated to stealing art, and they talk about it like it’s nothing and it enrages me. I just don’t want something like that to happen to me, so I just never share it, but, that also means I literally don’t get to share it. Ik it’s a dumb fear, and a little egotistical but I really care about my art and I’ve known for a fact in life I’ve always been pretty top of the class. If I hadn’t have moved schools in hs my art teacher would have reccomended me to an art college, they were already putting notes in my critique book telling me how much they liked my art, but I also know they ended up hating me anyways, because my ADHD, anxiety, and depression was so bad that it irritated them, but in general this art teacher just didn’t like anyone who was even slightly neurodivergent, so also a reason, (and also bc I always forgot to clean the table and when I had panic attacks or depression I’d sit and sleep during class or go to the counselors office and they didn’t like that either) art has kinda fed my hatred for people, because since I was different, they always treated me like I was, and I hated that the most, and I hated how they treated eachother and their work, I got pissed with them when they didn’t respect another person’s art and it was so irritating when they treated me like I was autistic just because I’m slightly neurodivergent and I was the only FUCKING different kid in that damn class, so I fucking fit in with no one. I really loved that class though, I just wish I didn’t experience a certain trauma from that friend yrs ago that fucked up my entire 3 years of school left, I really do loathe human existence sometimes, ecspecially highschool kids that treat me like the child ffs. Treat me like a fucking human being ffs. I hate teenagers, I fucking hate them. They’re creepy and fucking weird, psychopathic and insane, they’re shells of an empty human who don’t realize that their own insanity reflects on those who actually notice it, and it drives those people even more crazy than them, to the point where they want nothing more than to see them with their mouths all stapled shut thrown into their own burning hell bc ffs they need to grow the fuck up and then they wonder “oh why is everyone shooting eachother?”. Ugh, went off track, I just really fucking hate kids. Demonic fake little zombieshits most with no fucking brain, and those who do are so god damned hard to find, but then again, who knows. Maybe my school was cursed by fucking demons or something, but from what I’ve seen the entire gen Z is a shit show of all types of insanity.

Anyways, yea, little night rant. I’ve just been stressed latley, triggers and all. Therapist says to not let the trigger take control of you but idk exactly how to not let that happen, I mean how do u prevent a trigger before you know it’s coming.

I’ve been really coming to question latley if I can actually genuinely function in society… If people become a phobia for me, more than it already has, then how am I even going to be able to function around another person?

-X

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“Whither are the manly vigour and athletic appearance of our forefathers flown? Can these be their legitimate heirs? Surely, no; a race of effeminate, self-admiring, emaciated fribbles can never have descended in a direct line from the heroes of Potiers and Agincourt…”

Letter in Town and Country magazine republished in Paris Fashion: A Cultural History
1771

“Our sires’ age was worse than our grandsires’. We, their sons, are more worthless than they; so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.”

Book III of Odes, Horace
circa 20 BC

For thousands of years, a large percentage of each generation’s young, have acted as though being complete assholes was an essential object of infatuation and rite of passage. Behind the masks, crassness and giggles, a tragic number are marinated in insecurity, self-loathing, and slightly suppressed contempt for each other. Anyone who is even slightly different becomes a diversionary target, to get their minds off of what they deep down think of themselves. Compared to a screaming infant, they’re emotionally regressive.

There! I said it! The amazing thing is, from those steaming, odiferous masses, some genuinely decent humans emerge.

With that said, I understand not wanting to be around vain, shallow, emotionally stunted and immature people, but what purpose does hating them serve? Even if you feel enough rage to spontaneously combust, they’re unaffected and don’t give a shit. Hatred pollutes the mind, and impairs the ability to see much other than negativity.

I’ve come to realize that even with the persecution and loneliness, I’m glad I grew up outside of that mass of toxic mediocrity that struggled to “fit in.”

There are some websites where art can be displayed and not stolen, at least not in a marketable form. Images can be watermarked, and the websites can have the “right click” disabled, so the images can’t be lifted from the site.

Bye for now, Wings

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Heya,

I really understand about fears that your art would be stolen. I’ve had (art and non-art) work stolen before too and they passed off as theirs and THAT pissed me off. I understand how you would feel if it was your art. I am into tattoo art and tattoos, so I find it really annoying when a piece of artwork that an artist worked hard on is copied, or tattooed by another artist. I am so sorry that your art has been stolen when you were young, I completely get where your anger and fear comes from. It still boils my blood when I see people steal art, knowing that I put effort in mine even if it looks like crap, it motivates me to improve lol

Have you considered having social media where you’re anonymous? Like you can put your artwork there but not a lot about yourself, and you don’t have to be yourself and talk to others much. I post art on my art Instagram, and everything I do on that account is strictly art related. No socializing unless it’s with people I really know. Every account I follow is art related, or celebrities/musicians/shops I like. I’m not sure if the job you are looking at needs you to be social online or if it’s just a portfolio thing though. Because if it’s your page, you don’t have to get too personal with people. DeviantArt comes to mind, they have a watermark system iirc and you can add your own watermark to your works too.

I think most people in the art community are pretty respectful and mindful of stealing work. I think those who think that stealing art is okay, passing it off as theirs, or not even bothering to credit the artist is really low. It’s a real conscious choice to ignore the hard work of someone just for clout. I’ve seen work been stolen before and I tagged the artist under the post and said, hey, these people are using your art. I think if you’re okay with it, you can make a page where you can share your art but not with these people. And if they find it, there are a lot of people in the art community who won’t be impressed by stolen art and denounce it.

I completely understand your fear because you’ve been held to such high regard. You must be really good at art and I get that it feels like everyone’s out to take that from you. But I think that your passion and talent are unique, and no one can EVER take that from you. They can try to, but you’re in control of your craft which always makes you a step ahead. I’m sorry that your art teacher wasn’t properly equipped to have a respectable relationship with you, too. It’s hard when you’re at school and it has to be the authority figures who let you down. I totally get what you mean about teenagers too, they can be ruthless. If you know the song Teenagers by My Chemical Romance, it’s what came to mind when I read that part… I still flinch a little when walking past a group of teenagers because when I was in high school, even random kids from different schools would pick on me! How does that make any sense??? But I like the excerpt that @Wings put. I definitely see myself to have been full of teenage rage that was just desperately wanting a safe space to be vulnerable enough to care. I only hope a better environment and a safe space for these kids to be able to grow out of it and be better to each other.

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Hello my dear friend :slightly_smiling_face:

You definitely have the heart of an artist. You dont care about the money or fame, you create art because its beautiful and you love creating beautiful things. That is really something that makes you unique. I completely understand your fears of being criticized for your art. Whenever I created something I was like “Hey you can talk shit about me but dont talk bad about my baby :angry:”. It really hits different when someone criticises your creation. You have put your heart and soul into something and someone just says shit about it because they can. It can really hurt.

Its a very hard but important part of being an artist to be able to deal with criticism in a heathy way. It takes time and practise. I think the best place to practise this right now might be heartsupport. Your art is truly unique and beautiful and the people here will support you in your endevour. Here you can safely take the first steps in overcoming that fear :slightly_smiling_face:

I think following your passion about art might be a very good thing to do. I have seen you be so passionate about art like I have never seen anybody else. Sure the path will not be easy but I think this might be a path worth following. If nothing else give it a try. I believe in you. You are one of the most passionate people I have ever met :wink::heart:

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