I have an online therapy appointment on Tuesday and I’m ashamed to tell the counselor all that’s causing me to feel suicidal in my life because it’s just so bad and bleak. I feel ashamed and embarrassed of it. I don’t have almost any support, I’m dealing with grief and a lot of things from my mom passing away, and I feel suicidal.
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Counselors are trained to handle and address a wide range of topics. They’ve heard it all, and studied quite a lot too to be able to be certified.
I’m glad you have an appointment, I can tell you that 100% there is no need for any feeling of shame. They’re there to help you, to listen.
My mother passed too, I understand that kind of grief and how it can have a ‘hold’ on you. But you absolutely have every right to be here with us, to receive help, to receive some relief. Maybe you can try to write down all your feelings in a list, so it’s easier to share that with the therapist so you won’t have to list them off from your head.
It might be a bit scary at first, but this is a good step. Let us know how it goes, if you’re okay with that. You’re loved, you matter. We see you.
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Hey… I understand shame pretty good. For what its worth, you’ve made a huge step by even scheduling and appointment and that’s something to be proud of!
My shame has kept me from even making an appointment with someone. Well, did once, but canceled.
My shame is something I wouldn’t even tell my closest friends. The truth made me feel not only shame, but dirty and worthless.
Then someone I really respect told me I should work on writing my shame down. Once I could write it, try speaking it. After that, say it to myself in a mirror. From there, write it to someone else. Then finally, speak it to someone.
I learned the only way to get ride of shame was to exspose it. For me it took years and several small, but consistent steps.
I still blame myself for what’s happened, but now I can at least acknowledge the emotions and why I feel how I feel.
Maybe tonight you can write it down and start the process. Or maybe you can simply consider writing it down.
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I totally echo @GhostKrums words that making that appointment is already an amazing step. It’s really brave if you.
Talking about hurt and trauma is hard. Maybe it get’s easier with time, but it’s still something that hurts to talk or reflect about.
I also, like ghostkrums, find writing things out easier. Perhaps you could even give that letter to your therapist.
If it also helps to keep reminding yourself that this person is 1. Trained to handle listening to trauma and people’s experiences and 2. They do so because they have a love for people and want to help them start to heal.
And you deserve that. You wholeheartedly deserve to heal. I’m really proud of you for making that appointment
Ik how you feel i had one today and i was feeling that way just keep pushing and battling the thoughts