Over the years, I’ve struggled to make lasting relations. I feel there’s just something about me that pushes most people away, and none of my relations have ever lasted more than 2 years, leaving me alone at the end of everything. All this has got me in such a way that I get too attached to new people I meet way too fast, while they don’t feel the same way about me in the slightest. I’ve done the same many times before, but I just can’t seem to stop it from happening over and over, and it’s happened again. I’m just so drained from all the emotional stress that comes with this rut I’m in. It takes me months to come to terms with it, and the peace never lasts.
Sure, I have people who care and would do anything for me. sure, I have people to rely on, but something always feels… missing. it always feels like I’m a lesser priority than someone else, which to some extent is always true, because no matter what, one will always be closer to someone they’ve known for longer. and it doesn’t help that my “friendships” (if I can even call them that anymore) change very often, it always leaves me feeling like I’m not a priority, or that I don’t matter to them as much as they matter to me.
I just want a lasting relation with someone where I feel like I’m as important to them as they are to me, and I need help with dealing with my tendency to get overly attached.