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Attention deficit disorder, ADD

I have ADD. It’s like Adhd, but only “in my head”. I can sit in class and be still, but my mind wonders a lot.

I am 22. I got the diagnosis only a year ago. It helped me understand that I have a reason for my struggles, but I still feel so broken and stupid. I am behind in class, I put in so much work and no one can see the results. It applies in all my life. I feel a little depressed, I have a lack of interest and energy to do things. I don’t cook or clean enough and my awesome partner has to suffer for it… Idk I just wanted to open up about this. Anyone relate? Where do I find information on ADD?

Your best bet is talking to a psychiatrist to get meds or get more info or even a doctor. I’ve had add/adhd all my life and once I found meds to work with it to slow my brain down, shit got easier.

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Hey @porridgeprincess,

Thank you for being here with us and sharing what you’re going through right now.

First, I would like to emphasize that being behind others in class while having ADD doesn’t mean you’re stupid or incompetent. In fact, it means that, to arrive at the same result, you have to get over more obstacles than others. And doing this takes a lot of energy! And these obstacles are not dependent on you. Having ADD is not your fault and there’s no shame to have.

When you have ADD, one of the biggest challenges of everyday life is to keep your motivation to do what you love or to take care of yourself. The fact that you feel depressed and can’t motivate yourself to cook or clean is quite normal. Don’t feel guilty for that. Motivation, procrastination, focus are things you can learn to work on gradually, day by day. And, to be honest, even without ADD, it’s a challenge we all share. :wink:

Like @Bcrit said, in order to do that it would be very interesting for you to be accompanied, at least initially, by a professional, as you’ve been diagnosed only recently. A doctor will be able to provide you with all the informations you need, to get the answers of your questions. He can also be an important resource for your partner who will need, like you, to find out what it means to have ADD and how to live with it. Also, it may be interesting for you to see if there are any ADD associations near where you live.

So, I don’t have ADD and I couldn’t share with you any personal experience, but I hope you may already find some interesting ressources (articles on different subjects, videos, community and a free app) in these websites:

Take care. :two_hearts:

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Thank you both for answers :pray:

I have been to therapy regularly, but for some reason I’m not being taken seriously anymore. It’s like they put a “healthy” stamp on my head and say thank you, next! I got a little more time, but I’m worried when I will hear that “you feel better already, so move on”-thing said to me again. I’ve put a lot of money and effort on my appearance, I feel like it’s the only thing I can control at least a little. I wonder if it’s because of I look so well that my words aren’t taken in account anymore. I have an appointment next week and I’ll try to tell about my feelings to my therapist, but I haven’t done it, I’m scared of offending anyone.

And yeah she hasn’t shown me any sites where to get information. I can’t relate much to conversations about ADHD because I feel like it’s totally different having just ADD. I know a few people who have ADHD and I think they are so lively and outgoing and awesome, meanwhile I’m so dull and quiet. I don’t travel spontaneously or go to parties etc. I just procrastinate at home and feel like my head is so foggy. I live in a small town, so there’s not any community or something like that where to get support and info. Thank you MicrosmosK for the links, I will read those carefully🙏

And yeah I need to remember that every thing is a little harder for me to do because of ADD. I think I am worthy of understanding and support. I need to voice it louder so people will hear me. In class I have realised that noise-canceling headphones are a must! At home I can concentrate a little better if I put music while cleaning. My partner is just now beginning to understand what’s it really like inside my head. I have found some articles for him to read. It’s so much easier to find something like that instead of trying to explain. I have tried but failed to get my point across.

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Hey @porridgeprincess, thank you for your reply :wink:

I’m glad to know for the therapy! And I understand why it could be scary to share your feelings with your therapist. It may take some time to do that. The relationship you have with your therapist will always be unique so, yeah, he’s paid for the appointments, but it’s still a human-human thing. So we get to know each other, to trust each other step by step. It’s not acquired from the start. And it can be even more difficult when you’ve never been used to reveal yourself, to be vulnerable in front of someone.

But really, don’t let the idea that you may disturb others stop you. You are human, you have feelings, emotions, joys and sorrows, like all of us. Therapy is a place where you can cry, laugh and say anything you want. It’s a safe place, where you can afford to be offensive. And the fact that you’re afraid of being offensive makes me think that it’s unlikely to happen. It seems that you want to do the right things, for yourself, but also for others.

I also understand what you mean about others saying “you feel better already, so move on”. I think it’s something that can be encountered in many situations, not exclusively in relation to ADD. Especially for all mental health issues, because these are not visible things for others… but yet it’s there. I myself particularly experienced this with grief. It was quite odd because people tend to think that the pain is gone since X months or years have passed, since you smiled or resumed your work. Except that we still live with the pain and sometimes it’s still so crippling. So we adapt ourselves with the situation, but it doesn’t disappear.

ADD and ADHD are indeed very different. I know these things only partially, and from the outside, but I also remember being shocked to see how many resources there are for parents/children, and not adults. I understand why, we get to diagnose these things more and more earlier in life and, if not, it can impact your personal development. But I also think that there’s indeed a lack of informations in this area.

Also, if the others’ experiences can be interesting for comparison, I want to emphasize the fact that you remain unique in your existence, through your personality and through your actions. The diagnosis is indeed really helpful because it brings you a better understanding of yourself, to think new ways of acting. But fortunately ADD doesn’t summarize who you are. Maybe there are people with ADHD who feel unable to travel or go to parties like your friends. So, this is only my personal opinion but I think it’s a form of identity to recreate. There’s a time of upheaval after you receive a diagnosis. It may feel like it’s taking up all of your personal space. But then, over time, by knowing better and better ADD and by working on it, you’ll manage to emancipate yourself.

That’s also great to know for the headphones! Gotta say when I was at work I used to have a pair of headphones (I was allowed to) because I’m personnaly unable to focus on something if there’s noise around me. I am a bit too sensitive to my environment (sound, smells, tastes…). But fortunately we live in a time when there are many tools at our disposal to make life more pleasant. :stuck_out_tongue:

Take care! :two_hearts:

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You wrote very well, your words really bring comfort😊 I agree for so many things also.

Mental ilnesses are not visible but doesn’t mean it’s not there! Also one cannot really know how is it to another human. That’s why I think it’s important if we all try and be nice to each other. No need to make someone’s state of mind even worse by mean actions. And so wisely said that about grief too. I’m lucky to have not experienced that but I can imagine how you feel.

That last thing you wrote about, I can relate to that! Being extra sensitive to surroundings, noise, smell, etc. Great to hear you were allowed headohones👏

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