Autism and the feeling of acceptance

Hey guys, first time posting here, but ya. So i have Autism, and I am fine with that. But it screws with me so much at times. When ever I am told no, or just talked to sternly, or something, i feel like they hate me. This is something that has been going through my whole life. It has caused me to over react to things, or just straight up screw things up. Now i thinking brain knows “hey, they dont hate you, you just crossed the line and you can fix this” meanwhile i feel like " Oh crap, there goes another friendship/relationship out the window cause you screwed it up again. Good job. No wonder why you are always in your room every night. You are an utter failure" and so i start freaking out, sometimes i even break down and cry.
Now as i said, my rational side knows that its not a burned bridge, just a goof and it will get better over time. But there is that time where inside i am a wreck.
Is there anything you guys can tell me to help with getting rid of those feelings, or help manage them?

Hi friend,

You are not alone in this. I am also autistic. I battle with feeling unliked, annoying or like people are mad at me all of the time. I think and process things differently thus often work and communicate differently. It’s definitely been hard for me all through growing up and in my adult life.

Something I’ve had to try to get better at is communicating. I try to explain to people that I am autistic and at times struggle, so to please communicate with me so that I can explain myself and we can talk through whatever is going on.

Many times people have miss understood what I was saying and doing and thought I was upset or intending something other than what I was. It’s been a long road of learning how to communicate with people. Everyone is different so I’ve had to learn to communicate differently.

Social cues are sometimes hard. It’s all a learning process. I’m fortunate to have friends who are beginning to learn my quirks and how I work, so they are more understanding of me.

I don’t really know how to give you advice as I’m still figuring it out. But communication is important. So ask questions if you need. It’s okay to ask if someone is upset or mad. And ask how you can improve. It’s okay to ask if you can talk it out with them so you can explain how your brain thinks and try to resolve it. But also remember that if someone tells you they aren’t mad, to trust them. Don’t obsess over “omg I messed up” after someone said it’s okay.

I’ve done this. I kept worrying and kept feeling insecure about upsetting people and didn’t know how to trust when people said they weren’t upset and then it would cause issues because I didn’t know how to let go.

Practice :slight_smile: Having understanding, patience and loving friends helps

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Couldn’t have said it better myself. I believe in your Happiness Andrew. <3

Matt

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