Autistic? Asexual?

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Lately, I have been feeling like I am autistic. There are a lot of signs of autism I relate to:

  1. Masking and repeating word for word what someone else has said to get the same reaction
  2. I get uncomfortable when people touch me
  3. Sounds can make me overstimulated
  4. Wanting to touch things just to know what it feels like
  5. Cringing when I touch or eat something with a strange texture
  6. Getting upset when things don’t go like my normal routine
  7. T-Rex arms
  8. Eye contact and manners
  9. Special interest is music
  10. Obsessing over things such as weight or intelligence

There are so many more I could list. I want to get evaluated, but my parents openly mock people on the spectrum. It hurts. They say things about my sister who has ADHD and wants to get evaluated for Bipolar Depression like “She just wants to be special”

I have started to doubt my self-diagnosis. I’ll say that my brain is just tricking me because I feel this need to be different. The same thing is happening with being asexual. I see so much on the internet that aces just don’t want sex. It makes me question anything.

Honestly, I don’t know why I wrote this. I guess I kind of hope someone can relate. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

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Hey, thanks for sharing what’s on your heart. It’s definitely hard when people minimise those seeking diagnosis. Some people really don’t understand or even try to understand others who don’t fit inside their personal norm.

I personally am very wary when it comes to self diagnosis. When it comes to something like this I have a tendency to have a think of whether really there can be a tick box to fit everyone on the spectrum in.
For example I’m not one for physical contact, but my non verbal cousin is.
And I think it’s absolutely reasonable to cringe at dissatisfying tastes or textures and when things don’t go to plan.

This isn’t to dismiss you in anyway or invalidate your concerns and needs, it’s just knowing that sitting and thinking on things I read online can cause stress or cause me to think on it to a large degree.
I also have heard a lot of other diagnosis can have similar effects.

I hope you do get the answers you are looking for and that hopefully your parents can be educated on these important discussions to see that not everyone just wants special attention.

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It’s unfortunate that your parents are so misinformed. It may be influenced by wanting to avoid feeling that yours or your sister’s problems are a reflection on them. I can relate to that autism checklist except for items one, seven and eight. Regarding item 1, although I don’t verbalize things repeatedly, often, words or phrases will buzz around inside my head for a while.

Some people are more susceptible to suggestion that others. When my daughter learned about a new disorder or diagnosis, she would often feel the symptoms. Eventually, she got past it. It’s really good and insightful that you acknowledge the possibility that your brain is “tricking you.” You might be surprised at how normal it is, and how often brains are “tricked.” I think maybe the best defense against it is to acknowledge that it’s possible. It’s a bit like a person who asks themselves “am I crazy,” is much more likely to be sane than a person who refuses to believe their mind is anything less than perfect.

You may have to survive the best way you can until you reach an age when your parents can no longer interfere with your process towards self understanding.

Although you have identified with some autistic traits, it looks to me as though if there are any related limitations, you are overcoming them.

As far as obsessing over weight or intelligence, I think that those who don’t obsess are far fewer than those who do, especially among people who are school age. Maybe I was kind of lucky. I was fat, and I felt hopeless to change that fact. Because I was made fun of and bullied, I was very much a loner, so was never really involved in competition related to intelligence. I learned something I consider remarkable, intelligent people are often considered stupid by those who are ignorant. Anyway, having a thought process that is beyond the reach of an ignorant person, can be a reason to smile.

Whatever diagnosis a person has, it’s simply a label, and does not fully describe the person. For example if diagnosed with autism, the label could potentially lead to ignorance of the fact that the person is also a genius.

I think the most important thing is that you are a good person. I also believe that you will become an incredible adult.

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