Sorry 2 disappoint,its alexaneronline&I messed up again.I’m safe&still Clean,but stole another blade. I thought the stores were my only issue,but it was @ home.
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Hey Alex, you’re no disappointing at all. It’s good that you decided to reach out. Would it be okay for you to get rid of this blade? - or blades, if it’s not only one. Like wrapping it with something safe (tissue paper, magazine pages or something) and putting it in a bin that you will close. That would be really awesome. And you could take all the time you need to relax and rest after that. You don’t need to keep it with your right now. You got this. 
Agreed with Micro – you are not disappointing. You are strong and courageous for reaching out. It is not failing that defines us but how we rise. And that you rose again, and you chose to reach out. Brilliant work. Agreed with Micro also on getting rid of the blade. Practical bit of sanity to bring yourself back to safety.
Once you are safe, I would recommend journaling about what led you to this place. How did you get here? What is it about your day / days that led to this place where it felt safer to move towards cutting than it did to engage in your reality? Understanding the emotional patterns that lead to relapse can empower you for next time.
Again, great work reaching out. Get safe. Get curious. You’re on the right path. Keep going!
-Nate