Hey there , I hope everyone out here is doing fine. I was away from this place for some time : I had my semester exams and I just wanted to be off for a while. Lately, things are going kinda mixed sometimes I feel good and at times things tend to go out of control and I feel like I am going to lose my sanity. I most of the time feel like I am gonna die I don’t why but I have all the negative filled thoughts. I lost people whom I loved and was betrayed in the end by them. I feel like I am on some kind of drug as I mostly feel detached from reality and everything around me feels like fake. I wish things were same as they used to be but nah, I wish could feel things or enjoy the little happiness I have but everything seems illogical. I don’t know what to say more but I try to live normally but deep down I know how hard it’s to face these things. Life has to go on and I am pushing myself in this battle to not Overthink these things and keep myself calm. I just wish that I could feel emotions whether pain or joy but right now body isn’t in such condition to do so but I hope things will be alright someday, maybe or maybe not till then I will go on this Boulevard of broken dreams
Walking on a Boulevard of broken dreams is ok as long as you are not an American idiot 
. So sorry for the joke 
. Life is hard especially with mental illness. You are strong tho. I can tell. You can get through this. When it comes to those feelings of numbness when you cant feel sad or joyful try to give yourself some kind of intersive sensation. It can be anything from eating a lemon to giving yourself a cold shover. It can really help. Those are the things that help me with it but you might have another idea for an intense experience that works better for you. 
From: Lisalovesfeathers (Discord)
Hi, Thank you so much for your post, I am so pleased to see you as I remember you well from your last post, I hope your exams went well friend. I am sorry to see that you are struggling at the moment. I recall from the last post that have DPRD and you have a bad time with that and I am certain that those struggles are bound to cause the overthinking that you speak of. I am glad to read that you are trying to keep that under control and I am proud of you for that as I know how very hard that is. Are you getting any other support beyond your family? I do not know much about DPDR but it must be frightening to feel detatched from reality and outside of yourself for periods of time, you are so brave friend. I hope some Doctors are helping with this condition. Please come and talk to us any time friend. You are part of our community and we value you greatly. Much love Lisa
From: eloquentpetrichor (Discord)
Hello. I know how you feel. I can honestly relate so much to wishing you could go back to those happier times and enjoy your happiness but feeling empty instead because you cannot reach the emotion. In my experience happiness itself is often illogical and when we try to find logic in it we can become lost. I wish I could say something to help you find those emotions again but all I can say is that I hope you find your way to the end of the Boulevard of broken dreams and onto an Avenue of happiness once again. Keep hoping hrtLegoLove
From: SuchBlue (Discord)
Hi Junaid. To be completely honest with you, I can somewhat relate to how you’re feeling right now as I did have a period of time where I felt the same thing. Sometimes you just feel like you’re not part of everyone else as a group, and that also really hurt me. While it was very hard, finding real friends who are open to support you really helped me. Try to calm yourself down, just stay in peace and try to do something that makes you forget what you like to do. It can be drawing, learning an instrument, or just anything, really. There is always something to make you happy, and at the end of the day you also get to learn some new things. And last of all, thank you for sharing your feelings with everyone else. It can take a lot of courage to do that. You matter 
Thanks for the love and the words you spoke, this place is full of nice people who try to give their support without judging. I would love to make some new friends here and we are all in this together
I am trying to keep myself busy in different kind of things and at times it helps tho. I am grateful coz I have found this place 
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