Yesterday went from a great day, to a terrible day, to a great day, and back to a terrible day.
I believe I do a lot wrong. I hate myself for it. Even if someone says it’s nothing I did, it’s net my fault, I don’t believe them. I still have the wrenching feeling that I’m the problem.
I just want him to talk to me. It’s only been a few hours so I hope he’ll talk to me today about what was going on. I’m worried.
When people leave me with “I’m sorry” or anything else short I get so freaking scared they’re going to hurt themselves or kill them selves and I really don’t want to lose this person.
Not saying that they did- it’s just my thought process.
Things go good-> persons mood changes-> must be my fault-> person doesn’t talk to me or tell me what’s going on-> totally my fault, I’m a worthless piece of shit that doesn’t deserve good.
That’s my thought process. If it makes sense.
I’m so worried. I don’t know what to do. It’s so hard to wait it out when all that’s in my head are these stupid annoying thoughts. When all I do is expect the worst.