Bad mental breakdown

So here I am- again.

Sometimes I get into these thought patterns that things just won’t get better and and that I post too much on the support wall or too much in the Discord and I get clingy or two attached or something I don’t really know. I think today has been one of the worst days in a while out of all the other times that I’ve posted. A big thing that doesn’t help is making yourself stay awake until 2 o’clock in the morning because you just don’t want to sleep and I don’t know why my body just doesn’t want to sleep, I think it’s just because I have so much stuff to do or I should probably say so much stuff that I want to do that I just stay up thinking about it and how I’m gonna do and when I’m going to do it, and then I stay up so late that I don’t wake up Early enough to actually feel like I can get through the day, or like today I woke up at a decent time for right now but I just don’t want to get out of bed and I just couldn’t bring myself to actually start the day.

And I guess something that’s not really a big deal because it happens and it’s not like I’m complaining about it right now it’s yours it’s I’m just saying that the other day I rammed the side of my head into a stupid cabinet door and that doesn’t help with all the other stuff that is being laid out in front of me right now. And then when you add that on top of going to bed at 2 AM and actually being active yesterday to a point where you were physically tired Instead of just sitting around all day and that adds to it also.

And I have been applying to jobs it’s just really upsetting because no one called back and it just really sucks and there’s only so many places you can apply to you when you just get out of high school. Then another thing is if you’re quiet or shy like I am people look down upon you because of that and it really freaking sucks. It really does.

I feel like I should be able to reach out to certain people in my life like some close friends I’ve made in this community and then I’ve talked to before, but for some reason I just can’t bring myself to do it, and I feel kind of stupid for saying that I actually feel stupid for saying a lot of things because it’s like you tell people to do certain things like switch around the way they’re thinking in order to make those negative thoughts positive, but then when you’re faced with the situation yourself you just can’t do that.

Right now I just feel like my life is falling apart and I don’t know how to pick up the pieces or try and sort things out in an organized way. I know that things are gonna get better and it could be later today or it could be tomorrow morning or things could get figured out in a relatively short amount of time it’s just hard waiting for it to happen . I feel like I just want to do too much sometimes and people tell me to just take it in small loads in portion it out and I had I try it’s just really hard when you really want to do everything.

And like I said maybe things will get better really soon and then basically invalidate this post, which honestly that sounds stupid of me to say as well because why why would it be invalidated. I don’t know. I think I’m just caught in the crossfire of a reason and guilt and of anxiety and pain and just being tired and being burnt out. Thanks for reading. Love you guys. Also sorry if there are typos I decided to use the audio to type thing.

1 Like

Your last paragraph made me laugh a little lol. Its like you have these fights with yourself in your head Lyss. Calm down and relax. Things are never as bad as they seem when it comes to anxiety and depression. All I read was you have trouble sleeping and starting the day and you’re hopeful that things will get better. You’re literally the most well spoken kid I’ve ever met and you seem to have everything together. I’m not saying what your going through isn’t bad or hard to get through but even when things are tough you always seem to answer your own questions and you always seem to have hope in every post I read from you. That’s having it all together. acknowledging your problems and issues and staying hopeful. Calm down, think more slowly. When you’re having trouble sleeping turn the TV back on because for some reason at night time my body naturally starts to get tired when I’m watching TV during really late hours. Just keep posting on here like you’ve been doing. You’re definitely one of the most beloved people on the site and we all wanna see you on top. Love you Lyss!

2 Likes

Hey @Lyss,

There is no such thing as posting too much on the Support Wall or in the Discord (which I still need to check out, myself). After all, it’s why it exists! It’s very healthy to reach out, so please keep doing it! We’re here for you.

Studies show that lack of sleep is directly linked to depression and anxiety, so I would strongly recommend to get into the habit of getting good sleep. Studies also show that your “prime hours” are around 10pm-2am, so I would try to at least hit those hours. Toward the end of each week I notice to begin a swing in my emotions and it’s almost always because I’m incredibly exhausted. If you have trouble falling asleep, try taking melatonin tablets - they typically help you fall asleep quicker.

This isn’t necessarily true. Although extroverts might get more attention, it doesn’t diminish the awesomeness of introverts. In fact, introverts are typically seen as extremely intelligent. Both teams have pros and cons, and neither is better than the other. I consider myself as an ambivert, which is a mixture of being an introvert and extrovert.

Yes, yes and yes! I’m so sorry that things are very difficult for you right now, but please keep your eyes focused on the light of the next season. Hold on just a little longer. Fight just a little longer. You’re strong. You got this!

-Eric

1 Like

Lys, i love you you’re amazing you got this friend.
It’ll get better.

Kayla

1 Like

@Lyss,

Thank you for your honesty and transparency with how you are feeling!

The weight and pressure and feeling defeated is a lot to take upon your shoulders and for that I am genuinely sorry you are going through this.

I would agree with you that it will get better, so easy to say but so hard to believe. You are brave and strong for even being able to share with us all of what you are going through right now. I hope and pray that things turn around for you. You can do this! We are here for you!

-L

2 Likes

Thanks guys. I appreciate you all.

1 Like