From gettsiegirl41_: today i heard some of my friends talking bad about me just for being kind and these friends i knew since kindergarten they were making jokes of all my insecurity and they started a rumor that im pregnant all the anxiety that they made me go through they even made me loose my voice because of how overwhelmed i was about all my problems EVERYONE says im ugly EVERYONE says i should change my looks… am I really THAT bad??? am I too skinny??? do bangs look bad on me??? do I need to hide my scar from a poll accident that also gave the permanate memory of being assulted at a different time at my school??? should I stop being kind and helping people??? this just hurts… and yet I still pretend to be happy when I make my gaming videos daily I feel like i’m inside of myself… like im hiding under a mask but yet when I see my besties that i actually care about and that are actually kind to me I just mask the pain and act like im the world’s happiest girl, i hate this just as much as I hate myself
Hello Friend
Thank you for posting, I am glad you did. I am so very sorry that you have been treated poorly by people that are meant to be friends of yours, friends are meant to be supportive, kind, caring and “friendly” if however any of those things slip (and I guess sometimes in a moment people get carried away ) you should always be able to go to a friend and say “your words have hurt me please don’t do that again” and expect for that not to happen again.
It saddens me greatly that you hate yourself, what is it about you that makes you that awful? What have you done in life to make you such a dreadful person? It is strange when I was growing up I used to think I was so ugly and people used to say “beauty comes from within” and I thought, only good looking people say that, it isn’t true however firstly I cannot imagine you are really ugly, I just cant but beauty really does shine out and you sound like a genuine, kind, caring sensitive lovely person and there is not a single ugly word in that, all of that must shine from you, maybe that is why your friends sound a little jealous, being mean doesn’t shine from anywhere or anyone.
I would love you to do something for me if you would like to. I would like you to write down 5 things you like about yourself and 5 things you are good at. Then put that list either next to your bed or on your mirror and read them ever morning to remind yourself just how lovely and capable you are because you are, you are so very special and loved.
One more thing I have learned, once you learn to love yourself you will know your worth, once you know your worth you will not allow anyone to treat you poorly anymore, it is incredibly freeing and all you have to do is think about the reasons you are good instead of focusing on the negatives, I know that is hard when it is different from the norm but practice makes perfect. Good luck to you. Xx
I am so glad that you found HeartSupport and that you were so brave to share your story. I heard you mention yourself being kind to others and that do you have real friends that are kind to you as well, and that tells me so much about you already, that you are a wonderful, caring, young adult who does have true friends. You definitely do not deserve to be treated this way by a group of girls who are most likely insecure themselves so they are finding others to pick on and put down to make themselves feel better. Hurt people hurt people. I know it is easier said than done, but ignoring the negativity and focusing on taking care of yourself and those true family and friends that care about and love you just the way you are is a good next step. You don’t need to stop being kind and helping people, that is what makes you unique and wonderful in this world that can be so cruel. I’d encourage you to share your true feelings with your besties that you mentioned and you might be surprised to hear that they are going through similar challenges at school - almost EVERYONE is wearing a mask of some sort, and it can be exhausting. Loving yourself and being exactly who you want to be regardless of other’s opinions and negativity is not something that comes easily, but it can be so freeing and allows you to see the beauty in yourself and others. Please take care and find a trusted friend to share your true feelings with.