Hey guys its Hbus,
I wanted to get some things off my chest and be raw with you all. I’ve been at my job now for nearly 10 months now, and I’ve honestly loved it. My mental health has been acting up lately and I’ve had to miss work over the last 6 months or so due to doctors appointments, and also having a bad mental day.
I was recently put on a new medication that I’m having terrible side effects to. I had the worst panic attack at work yesterday, I’m experienced with anxiety and having attacks, but this was the worst one i have ever experienced. I almost passed out in the bathroom because I was hyperventilating so badly. My body went completely numb and I was having trouble speaking. I didn’t go to work again today because I need to recover from yesterday, but I’m already on thin ice at work.
I’m writing this because I don’t know how to balance keeping my mental health in check, and work. It’s affecting my work life, and I would love to know how to better balance the two. If I take care of mental health when I have bad days, i sacrifice my job, but if I focus on my job and let my mental health go, then I spiral out of control and sacrifice not only my mental health, but my job as well. I can’t find a good medium. I’m tired of dealing with all of this, but I’m also tired of all the bullshit at work. I’m trying to better myself and my job has essentially continued to threaten me of losing my job if I don’t watch my attendance, which I understand on their part, but I don’t know what to do.
Love you guys,