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Becoming crippled in the army, gradually walking closer to Suicide


#1

I now am being held on base and am not doing my job anymore, I can barely move and what used to be a 5 minute walk now is a 30 minute struggle and limp of shame. I get called a worthless fucking cripple now and am humiliated by everyone around me for my injuries. I had a mental breakdown a week ago and got hospitalized for it. Other soldiers have told me I should’ve just killed myself. I feel so fucking depressed. Everyday i feel so destroyed just showing up to formation while everyone makes fun of me, I can’t eveb eat anymore. I just want to be dead. And I’m going to be stuck here for a very long time. I’m going to need hip replacement surgery and have nerve damage that will never heal. I can’t sleep more than 2 hours at a time without my pain medicine wearing off and I wake up in just absolute agony. I just want to go back to my home and be alone the rest of my days until I ultimately end them myself. I joined the army to make everyone I know proud, now I’m just a fucking worthless disgrace.


#2

Thank you so much for serving this country!! I’m greatly oh so blessed for you!! I’m sorry that they tell you that!! That’s not ok! No one should ever say that to anyone because it’s not your fault your hurt, you have so much worth, and you are so very appreciated and loved.


#3

Hi friend,
I am so sorry. I am so so sorry. I wish I could just take all of this pain away from you. I can’t even imagine what you must be feeling right now and I am truly sorry.
I have a few friends in the Marines, and have been told stories of how they’ve broken many bones and feel like complete death once they do. I’ve been told that every day is harder than the last one.
But friend, I encourage you to please keep fighting. Maybe this hip surgery will really help. Maybe they’ll find a way to make the nerve damage more sustainable. You got injured fighting for this country and that’s so brave. You should be so proud of yourself. Forget what those other soldiers are thinking.
I obviously don’t know the type of schedule you have, but I encourage you to try to work and plan ahead of everyone else. Try to get to formation 5 minutes before everyone else, try to help out in any ways that you are able to, but don’t push yourself.
You are not worthless and you should not be ashamed of yourself and you don’t deserve to kill yourself.
What you’re doing is really freaking hard and takes a lot of hard work and dedication. You are not going to be crippled forever. You are going to get better.
I believe in you. Thank you so much for serving this country.
Stay Strong


#4

Dear Dampbread,

First of all, those people ridiculing you, telling you those horrible things? They aren’t even worth your time, energy, or thoughts. They are horrible human beings and what they say have absolutely no truth or worth. Don’t believe anything they say for a second. You have an injury and I’m so sorry that happened. But you are alive and that is something to celebrate. It takes you longer to do things, but that’s ok. Your body is trying to heal. You have nerve damage and need surgery. That is serious stuff and just the fact that you are still TRYING shows how strong you really are. You are still there and still facing those horrible people and doing the best you can. That is a beautiful example of a strong, worthy person, let alone soldier. Sending you love and prayers.
Cassie


#5

I’m sorry you are going through this. Please don’t believe that having an injury devalues you. You are still someone who has the heart of a servant and you are still here. Recovery will be a long road, but it is one that others have made it through successfully and we believe in you. Please, don’t give up.
VA Crisis Help

Hang in there.


#6

Hello dear friend,

First, I want to know that I salute you for your service. Being willing to lay it all on the line for your family, your country, and your countrymen is a sacrifice that should never be overlooked or taken lightly. Too often civilians don’t understand the hell our soldiers go through, and my heart weeps for you because of it.
Both of my grandfathers served, one in the Army, the other in the Air Force. My father is current law enforcement. The pride I feel for them outweighs any other type of respect or pride I could have for anyone else in my life, and I am certain there is at least one person in your life who feels the same way. If not, consider that one person me.
I cannot begin to imagine what you have gone through, but know you do not have to suffer alone. As you have fought for us, there are many of us willing to fight for you.
You are not a disgrace; you are an underappreciated blessing that needs, that deserves to be honored. Everything you have sacrificed for our country and your brothers should not be ridiculed, and I cannot express in words the sorrow and rage I feel that people do.
Please know that you do not fight alone.
Stay strong, soldier. You are worth the fight; believe in that.

Abigail