Today, I had a day off, got to do all the thing I wanted to do. It been pretty good weekend, my grandma turn 100 and got see family.
But I feeling really lonely, I have few friends, however I feel I’m growing apart from them. Mostly my days, I’m kinda by myself. Weekend are just skateboarding by myself, or trap at home sometime. Getting out of covid made me realize, why I’m really a loner, I message people to hang, it never happens.
Had teacher that told me that would never have friends or girlfriend in my life. She was right.
A lot I deserve it, cause I had mental abuse people, especially women, ( I don’t want people to feel bad for me). I talk shit on social how no one give a fuck about me, that women hate me and that some music sence hated me. In some ways I wanted people to tell me that I had meaning in my life. That one girl I like would say, hey you are okay. But I guess show people how much an insecure asshole I am.
This lonely fucking kills me, having no group of friends, no band to jam with and no girlfriend to go out on dates with. My teacher was right, no one would understand me.