Today, I had a day off, got to do all the thing I wanted to do. It been pretty good weekend, my grandma turn 100 and got see family.
But I feeling really lonely, I have few friends, however I feel I’m growing apart from them. Mostly my days, I’m kinda by myself. Weekend are just skateboarding by myself, or trap at home sometime. Getting out of covid made me realize, why I’m really a loner, I message people to hang, it never happens.
Had teacher that told me that would never have friends or girlfriend in my life. She was right.
A lot I deserve it, cause I had mental abuse people, especially women, ( I don’t want people to feel bad for me). I talk shit on social how no one give a fuck about me, that women hate me and that some music sence hated me. In some ways I wanted people to tell me that I had meaning in my life. That one girl I like would say, hey you are okay. But I guess show people how much an insecure asshole I am.
This lonely fucking kills me, having no group of friends, no band to jam with and no girlfriend to go out on dates with. My teacher was right, no one would understand me.
i want to start off my message to you by saying happy birthday to your grandma! 100 is quite a birthday to celebrate and i’m glad you were able to have a great weekend alongside her.
in regards to how you’re feeling, i totally understand you, my friend. loneliness, especially when it is directly in the spotlight during this pandemic, is an extremely hard, yet human, thing to feel. it’s something that can easily drown you in negative emotions.
it was extremely wrong and against their role as your elder to tell you that you’ll never have friends or partners. i am so, so sorry that those words were said to you. however, i hope that you can rise above your teacher’s words soon. whether it’s finding friends at the skate park, meeting people with similar interests on discord (the heartsupport discord is a good place to start!), or even using dating apps to make some of these things you want in life to happen. i believe in you fully to treat each day as a new opportunity to make life what you want it to be.
i hope i can hear from you soon on your progress and how things are going! you got this, @Metalskater1990 !
Hi! first of all, I wanna say happy birthday to your grandma! I hope your family’s safe and healthy and everything.
And second, I hear you.
But no matter what anyone else says, when I read your posts, I see someone deserving of love and compassion. You deserve friends. You deserve to have people in your life who love you and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
I see someone who deserves to be loved because though you say you can treat others badly sometimes, you take accountability for it, and you don’t look for pity.
You’re a good person. You want to improve, and you can.
I want to tell you that it’s going to be okay- I mean it. One day, you WILL have a group of friends you love, and maybe even a band and a girlfriend, too. You’re more than capable of forming meaningful, loving connections, even though it might not really feel like it.
There are many things I want to speak on in your share. Happy birthday to your grandma! I can relate to being by myself. I message my friends and they never can hang. It sounds like being misunderstood can be really uncomfortable…I think it takes incredible insight to know this about ourselves: to seek meaning… I know it is a really hard time right now, and I encourage you, to let yourself BE exactly where you need to be… the rest with follow. <3 Keep skating and jamming !! I say that with lots of love. Do what you love, let it shine!