Last year, i was in the worst point i have been in ever (at the time) i just got out of an extremely abusive relationship and it finally hit me, it was after that relationship i realized that i was transgender
i was cutting every day, some days i couldn’t walk because it hurt too bad, ive suppressed alot of memories from that time
these past months ive been fully stable and happy, up until the point where school got harder, the days got longer and i felt like there was no escape from my failures, the missing assignments, not being able to understand the material, not being able to even read
some days it got really bad, i felt like such a failure then i snapped.
I started cutting again, this time on my wrist, one night, was super bad, i cut too deep and my hand went numb, im doing better now, but im still burdened with school, and my hand is still tingly
I haven’t been around HS in well over a year now, but something about your post made me want to come back and give some support.
First, I want to tell you that your pain, and hurt and stress is valid. Please don’t ever think otherwise. I’m glad to hear you were doing well for the last few months, my friend that shows progress. But please don’t feel like your relapse is a set back, because I’m telling you it’s not! You can continue to move forward and takes steps towards recovery and happiness once again!
One of the best mentors I ever had told me something I’ll never forget, your relapses and mistakes do not define you. You are not a failure. You are loved and valued. And you’re going through a rough time.
Is it possible for you to get some tutoring for your school work? Or maybe talk to your teachers and see if they can help you out?
First let me say that I am so proud of you for sharing your story. Thank you. Secondly I am glad you are out of that abusive relationship. You do not deserve to be abused, by anyone, for any reason.
I know for a short time by cutting it puts a punctuation mark on what you are feeling on the inside. This feeling is fleeting and temporary. It is addictive and can cause other issues down the line. However I am very glad you are able to communicate here how you are feeling and what is happening with you. You are valued and your experiences are valid.
My question is, what coping skills are in your toolkit? Do you have any and if not, why? We care about you a lot here and want what is best for you. Also, what is the best way we can support you through this rough time?
Please, dont give up, you are loved and valued beyond your wildest dreams.
