Been rethinking about my friend

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The reason I always put this topic on venting, is because my therapist told not relay on other people validation about this situation About my ex friend, it fuck me up when people said she use me, because hurt me. Also it not part of what actually happen.

My friend friend has been gone from my life for a while now and she not coming back. It break my heart and I haven’t recover since then.

We were close skate friends, having same taste in music and going to different skate parks. It was an hour drive from Mass to Rhode Island. But I felt worth she only close female in my life and no my other friends skated or did anything in general.

My coworkers and family thought she had a crush on me. But she had a boyfriend. She did was poly, however was in non open relationship. Every at work told to try hit on her or date. Mom would ask if she broken up with her boyfriend. I felt very uncomfortable about I felt about my close friend. I definitely want to date her, but not ruin a relationship.

I was having hard dealings with it, what made it worst one my skate bubby was telling that she was using me and not care about me. Then when I text her saying she was taking advantage of me. We plan to talk it out, but she was busy that and I kinda got irritated with her.

I told my feelings over text, she want space for a bit and she would talk more about it. But turn into months. I had my aunt die, I was going to text her a nasty message, but change to how I was greatful for the friendship. She replay and she said was greatful too. But then told her my aunt, she never responded.

It fuck me up for months, then message two later I was hurt with her and that she lost a good friend. She did message saying she was sorry. Then wish me the best
I kept messsging her, but then she block me.

But still feel she never care about me but I know in reality we had a close friend and I understand she was in a relationship. But she would fly to someone else while she not text me when my aunt die.

It hurt people say that she use me. My sisters say that she did care, but things we’ re complicated between us and that invade her space.

I can’t help but feel hurt about her.


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