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Been thinking

I been just thinking how I have no irl social life cuz there’s no place for me to go socialize in my town and I can’t drive so I’m stuck to places I can walk too and all’s there are out in my town to go to is bars and I don’t drink any there’s no where else to go to meet other people in my shitty small town and it sucks cuz all my friends are online and i wanna hang out with them all so badly but they all have their own lives and irl shit to deal with they arnt like me where Im stuck at home everyday and I just…it sucks

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Hey Derpplup,

I’m sorry there aren’t any opportunities for you to socialize in real life where you live. I’m very familiar with the downside of having contacts online and never being able to hang out with them. While these contacts are very valuable, it’s not quite the same as physically meeting another person.

I’m not familiar with your situation and what you’re dealing with so I apologize if any of my suggestions are inappropriate.

  • Are there any clubs you could join? Depending on where you live and what the most popular sport is, there are usually clubs? Or for any other hobbies? How do other people in your time socialize?

  • Could you get to other places by bike or are the distances too large? Is there public transport?

  • Something I can think of is that in bars, you can often play games such as darts and billiard, … If that’s something you could imagine.

  • I was wondering, why do you live where you live and would there be any possibilities to change something about your living situation? If the social situation is something that you’re struggling with a lot and something you don’t want to face in the long-term, this might be an option to consider at some point.

Just some things I could think of. It really sucks when you feel so stuck with a situation. Also, if it is just venting for now, that’s of course totally fine. I hear you and totally understand your desire to change something about your situation.

Ok (1) so no there are no clubs out side the school system I can’t bike cuz I don’t know how to ride a bike and the nearest town is too far away and the road leading to it does not permit bikes out side motor vehicles which I also can drive. (2)most people here socialize through drinking or they have friends from work or long time friends from child hood wich neither I have.(3) The bars here are not big enough to have room for pool or darts. (4) I live here cuz it’s where I grew up and I’m unable to move outside this town because I’m disabled do not have income currently and I’m reliant on my problematic family for almost everything still

Oh man, so sorry to hear. Totally understandable that this sucks.

Do you have anything that gives you at least some joy, no matter how small it is? What are the things that are good in your life?
This is not to say that your situation wasn’t super difficult. How you’re feeling is totally valid. It really messes with the mind though and drags more into depressive thought patterns when the only focus is on what sucks. For me, what I am grateful for is that I have a roof over my head. Even though this might sound very trivial, a thought of ‘hey, that’s actually cool and I wouldn’t wanna be homeless’ was helpful to ‘recalibrate’ my mind a bit.

I hope that in the long-term there will be a solution that will allow you to socialize in the ways you wish to.