Whiteplasticbag mentioned this to me after I could not get the text number to work. Then I made a post yesterday but I guess it never sent? So, here it is today.
I have lost 3 of my closest friends because of my silence on social media pages. They have decided that my silence means I am not angry about the state of the United States at the moment, and told me that I do not care about black lives. They haven’t even talked to me about any of it. They messaged me and deleted me. I am angry. I guess I’m just not angry in the right way.
HI @justhearme - Thank you for pursuing us until you were able to post. Your story matters, and so does your experience with the events going on. When people are confronted with something like this, they want to know where the people in their life stand, in relation to what they believe in. This can create a lot of tension and hard decisions for people. Maybe right now, they can’t make room in their life for you because of how much space these events are taking up. I am really sorry this is the case. I know a lot of people who don’t know how to react, and I believe they should be met with grace and encouragement to educate themselves and take a stance. It is unfortunate that they chose to cut you out, it is not what I would have chosen to do.
It is okay to be angry at them for cutting you out. You have to make the best choice for yourself about where your strengths are, and how you can best support the cause you believe in. Not everyone is safe to use their voice, and I have seen a lot of people speak with money, education, and support in other ways. If there is any way we can support you during this, please let us know. I hope you choose grace for them and yourself during this really difficult time. You are worth it, you and your experiences matter.
I just made a really long Facebook post about this an hour ago. We are really deeply divided ideologically, and it’s gotten so bad that friends and families are turning on each other when they’re not completely in sync. More than any or all of the tragedies that have happened in recent days, weeks, and years, I think the saddest thing is how people have come to hate each other over disagreements.
You can be angry without posting on social media. It’s probably for the best that you don’t post if you don’t want to say anything. In fact, the world could do with a lot fewer people posting. A post is just a statement. It’s not a conversation starter, it’s a line in the sand, and people either stand for or against what’s in the post. Shame on your friends for thinking they know what you’re thinking and feeling based on your SILENCE. You haven’t even said anything, and they didn’t bother to ask you what your thoughts were before they decided you weren’t good enough for them? That is awful.
I understand your pain and frustration. I know that it might not be something that many of us can understand right now, but I think in times like this it is so important to try to put ourselves in others shoes. I know you can’t understand why your friends would be so angry with your silence when you are feeling upset too, but I encourage you to ask yourself did I reach out to my friends of color individually although I was silent on social media? Am I fully understanding their perspective? In addition, I heard about a research study that found abused children are just as mad at the parent that remained silent while they were being abused as they are the parent that was actually abusing them. I think for many this silence feels the same. I know you are in pain, and I empathize with that, I just wanted to offer a different perspective.