Big Mistske in Family

Today I feel like my dad thinks I’m a big mistake in the family. Like I was never meant to be born in the family and I’m not as loved as my younger brother and I’m just a pile of mug on his shoe. He acts like I’m stupid and tells me things I already know making me feel like a dummy. He looks at my brother like he is the brightest child in the family and looks at me like I am a maid not his daughter. I feel like I’m not loved as much anymore and need to go anyway. None of my closest friends are helping me get through the pain and I just don’t know where else to go.


I’m sorry that your Dad is treating you this way. I think Dad’s should be providers and protector’s, in both physical and emotional ways. You’re missing what should be provided and trying to protect yourself from the hurtful things your Dad is saying to you.

I do not believe you are a mistake! I’m glad you are sharing some of your story here. Thank you for taking the time to do it. Your friends may be able to understand what you’re going through, but powerless to do anything about it. Are you close enough with any of your friends Mom’s to talk with them? Is your Mom in your life? Do you have any adult relatives you can talk to?

You are always welcome to share your cares and concerns here. Take good care of yourself~

One more quick thought: try not to resent your brother. You need each other as friends. You may need each other as allies. It’s possible he’ll not meet your Dad’s expectations. He might find himself in the same place as you find yourself now, needing help.

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My mom isn’t with me anymore she passed away in 2017 of cancer. I’m still friends with some of her friends that I still see every once in a while. My aunt is always available to talk to as long she is not at work. Thanks for the help and you’re right about me and my brother needing each other as friends and Allies . We always had each others back since my mom passed away and I’m grateful to have him around. Thanks for responding to my story and helping me through this.

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Hi Ricky,
i am so sorry to hear that from you, not only for the loss of your mother, also for the circumstances you are facing right now, that you are treated this way, the relationship with your father.
to have a brother where you can rely on, makes me feel better about your situation, that is something to be grateful and thankful for. also you have your aunt, and friends of your mother.
here is always a place for you, anytime you need it. thank you for letting us be a part of your journey.
you are not a failure or a mistake. from what you are sharing, you are strong, my friend. you are aware of the situations really good. you have come so far, and still going on. be proud of that. we are, and i am.
you are welcome. you are loved and you matter. feel hugged :purple_heart:

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Friend, the thoughts you are having about your dad are just bad thoughts because you are in a bad place and when you are in a bad place anything and everything people say and do feel so much worse and harsh. Im not saying your dad doesnt treat you differently because indeed that can happen but I dont think for a moment that your dad thinks you are a mistake, You took care of your dad and I remember that he was grateful and you both were getting on well after that. Maybe something happened with your dad and brother where you didnt feel included or you were taking care of your dad and your brother stayed away and after all the work was done your brother comes in and gets lots of love?? that can feel very harsh and you can tell you family that you are feeling this way, please dont sit back and not share your feelings. Always remember that you are equal, valuable, worthy and loved and try to distance youself from the bad thoughts if you can. Much Love Lisa x


From: ManekiNeko

Hi Ricky, I read previous response about you and your brother being allies together and being there for each other. It’s a wonderful perspective to have. I can understand your feelings of having that pressure of almost feeling the dynamics aren’t equal. Do you think your dad would be okay sitting and hearing you out when you’ve got these feelings? I know your relationship had started improving and it would be great it communication could help to keep improving it.


From: eloquentpetrichor

Hey again, RickyP :hrtlegolove: I’m sorry that things are going poorly with your dad again. Does your brother know about these feelings and interactions with your dad? Since your dad seems to pay attention to him maybe he could help stand up for you and tell your dad that the way he treats you isn’t okay. You shouldn’t have to have that kind of back-up but since you said you have had each other’s backs it may be worth asking him to at least pay attention to what your dad says.

I’m sorry that you seem to constantly have a three steps forward, two steps back kind of relationship with your dad. You matter to so many people and you matter generally speaking to the world. You’re an awesome person for all you do :hrtlegolove:


Hi there @RickyP,

Thank you for sharing with us. It sounds so hard to have this strained relationship with you dad and I can only imagine how painful this experience must be, particularly given that you haven’t been supported by your closest friends. With that said, I’m glad that you came here and shared with us. You’ll always be valued here and we know that you are worth so much.

Thank you again for being here and for sharing.

<3 Tuna

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From: twixremix

hi ricky,

i’m glad you know you can come here, ricky. through everything you do for our dad, the way he’s making you feel is so hurtful. i’m so sorry, my friend. could it be that your brother doesn’t come to visit as often so he is seen as a rare, exciting visit outside of the life you help your dad live in that house? with everything you share about what you do for your father, it’s just heartbreaking to even think that he treats you more like a maid than a daughter. i hope you can find clarification from your dad on what exactly is going on. so thankful catherine said the part on how you and your brother need each other, glad you have him around. sending you and the whole family a ton of love and comfort, ricky.


Hey RickyP,

I am sorry to hear you are feeling down and unappreciated right now. I’ve responded to a few of your posts, and have seen the highs and lows you’ve had over the last year-ish. I love reading when things are going well for you and your dad. I remember reading that you and your brother help each other and support each other. Have you told your dad about how you feel? Are you feeling down in general right now, outside of your relationship with your dad?

You are doing a great job in helping out your dad through all of his needs. I am sorry you are feeling unappreciated about it, but I have a feeling he does appreciate and love you, even if he may not have a good way of saying it :slight_smile:

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Hi Ricky, I’m sorry that your father has made you feel “stupid,” trust me you’re not. You took care of him when he was recovering and you did a darn good job. Perhaps you can talk to him about how he made you feel. you matter ~Mystrose

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From: listening2day

Well, one thing is for sure; no one thinks exactly the same. So a good way to clarify how someone is thinking is to talk to them. Let them know how you feel and allow them to share how they feel.

But, I think you have many great qualities.

But, you know, often we tend to forget to tell those closest to us!

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