How does one live a “normal life” with this condition? I’m not sure how to accomplish anything of worth with this damn thing constantly sabotaging my every move. It steels my confidence after giving me too much. I feel like God is laughing at me. The drugs I have been prescribed have all made me sick: I have literally had severe reactions to all of them. I feel like my life is over.
1 Like
Hey @JasonT,
Thank you for opening up and being here. 
Living with bipolar disorder is tough. That’s absolutely true. And I can’t pretend to say I understand what you’re going through because I don’t have it. I only saw how this disorder can affects someone as my mom was diagnosed in the past.
Let’s be honest, I don’t think you can have a “normal life” because there’s no such thing in this world. I understant your point, so that’s what I want to say that despite your struggles, you can still have the life you want. But it takes time, patience, perseverance. And that’s why you may have to accept to take all the help and support you need during your journey.
Being bipolar doesn’t define you. Yes, it occupies a lot of space in your life. But you can achieve what you want to do, even if it implies to constantly work on your mental health. It’s hard to not diminish yourself or feel like a failure when you’re struggling with mania and depressed cycles. That’s true. And you described it perfectly. But I really want to say that even if you have to face some really heavy obstacles, it doesn’t mean that going on is impossible.
Having the right treatment is a first step, and there can be many different side effects. It’s exhausting. So please be patient friend. It can take time before you get a treatment that suits you. So don’t not hesitate to share with your doctor about how what you’ve been prescribed affects you. Ask every question you need. It will be both helpful for them and for you.
Also there are things you can still do outside receiving a treatment. First, maybe it could be interesting for you to see if there’s a support group near where you live, so you could feel less isolated, share about how dealing with bipolar disorder makes you feel, and see that there are people who have been where you are. Maybe it would be interesting to check online support groups too, for people living with bipolar disorder. It can be of a great help.
I can also tell that sticking to a healthy routine is more than important. With my mom, I really saw the difference when she was lacking of sleep or not, for example. I know it can be hard to stick to some routine, depending on how you feel. And in the same time, having a routine allows you to try to stay focus on it and maintain a kind of regularity in your life, even when you struggle. It definitely helps to stabilize your mood over time and limits some of the things that may be triggering you sometimes.
Every time you try to work on your mental health, it is worth it. Do not hesitate to be helped by others. Keep a list of phone numbers in case of an emergency. When it gets tough, you have to make sure that you’ll be able to reach out to someone, whether it’s someone you know or professional services.
There is hope, friend. Your life is not over. There are people out there who are struggling with the same thing but yet achieved to learn how to live with it. There’s no reason you can’t do the same. I know it’s hard, it really is. But you can do this. And you are not alone in this journey.
Sending much love your way.
2 Likes
I can’t speak from experience either. I know for my depression it took about 5 years and at least 7 cocktails of drugs to get me feeling healthy and happy (and not fat). The one thing I’ve heard over and over for BP1 is don’t stop taking your meds. I’ve heard countless stories of people who felt better, deciding they didn’t need their meds anymore, then falling back into full-blown bipolar. As I’m sure you know, it takes awhile to steady yourself in a mental health free-fall.
I HATED feeling like a human test tube with all the meds; unfortunately they’re not fully effective for 4-6 weeks, and that’s about how long it takes for the old ones to titrate out as well. But there is a genetic test called Genesight that, while not foolproof, can give your doctors better guesses on meds you’ll best respond to. I think the regular price is $169, but they discount it pretty heavily based on how much or little you make. It may be worth checking out, and it may save you a few years of trial and error.
Good luck, and just keep in mind that this doesn’t define you. You’re just sick, and if you’re sick you can get better.