I’m miserable at work and I’m struggling to find a job that’s any better, my mental health was getting so much better but now I just feel like I’m falling into a shit routine again.
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Finding the right job isn’t easy is it? I think as long as you are actively looking for a new job, I think you’re doing ok. If you feel yourself falling into a “shit” routine, stop the cycle because only you can. What other than your job can you change that will make you feel at peace?
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I think the hard part of this is I had my dream job and it slipped away because of a little mistake. I have to work my way back and it sucks a lot. This job has me constantly alone and in my head just thinking and that’s terrifying. I just don’t want to get set back again. I’m already set back in work I dont want my mental health to turn to shit again too so I’m scared.
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We all make choices that lead us down a road we didn’t plan. It sounds like your current job isn’t very healthy for you and you mentioned looking for another one. You can’t go back and fix your mistake, so focus on moving forward instead. You have no control over that mistake anymore. Learn from it and grow. That’s all you can do with that now, right?
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So brutal to be in a place where your world was /so good/, and now it feels like one Jenga block got knocked out, and the whole thing came tumbling down. Like really – one small mistake, and it’s got to fuck my whole life?! That’s infuriating…and depressing…because it’s like – wow I had to work SO HARD to build that up, and it came down that easy? And now I’m here trying to pick up the pieces amidst feeling terrible? That’s so hard. Especially because losing the job and working at a place where you’re more often alone is like a downward spiral, it drains you, so every day you feel you have less to give, and it takes serious effort to work against the current and rebuild, and it’s just like – man do I even have it in me to do that? Or am I just going to be stuck here, completely hopeless forever?
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Oh friend, this is so hard. My heart goes out to you. A job can really be this stepping stone that we need in our life, but sometimes it happens to be the opposite.
You know there is something strong in your fear right now. You acknowledge the possibility to move backwards because of the current circumstances but you don’t want that! You are anticipating something that could happen, which puts you in a position of reflection, and eventually of seeking solutions before it gets worse.
The job you’ve lost because of this mistake is a loss in itself and a grief to process. I imagine you’ve been carrying lots of guilt for what happened, but I hope you manage to give yourself some grace despite it all. We all make mistakes, even though it’s unfortunate when it happens for something so significant to us. I don’t know your context right now, but your dream job could eventually be found at a different place, through different opportunities. It’s generally frustrating to hear that a door that is closed in front of us doesn’t prevent others to be opened. That’s now what we envisioned, that’s not what we wanted… but who knows? You might encouter some opportunities that would be even more interesting to you.
Looking after a job you like, a role that would feed your soul in a healthy environment is absolutely worth it. It’s worth the fight, because it is about you, your dreams and desires, your life after all.
Your mental health doesn’t have to set back again. It can be prevented, with the help of a counselor and of people you trust. There are battles and life transitions we are not meant to experience just on our own. It’s okay to gather all the help you would need in times to come, not only regarding your job and possible projects, but also just for your well-being. There is a possibility to learn to be alone with yourself without feeling in danger or vulnerable. It takes time for sure, and to ask for help most of the time, but again it’s worth it.
You can keep moving forward, friend. Setbacks are not a fatality, even if it feels like everything around you is telling otherwise. You can still make healthy decisions, be patient with yourself and seek resources that would be needed in times to come.
And through it all, you won’t be alone. We’re standing by your side and rooting for you so freaking much. Let’s not allow the obstacles to put you down. It is yet another challenge that you are facing in your life. But you can learn, thrive, even make mistakes again, yet grow stronger and closer to the life you want to have.
I believe in you. 
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