Body dysmophoria

Hi everybody,

I kinda wanted to write on this forum about some thoughts and feelings I have about myself you know because it has been bothering me for a good while you know. To be honest, I hate a lot of my physical features, you know. It’s not completely bad genetics
but, I am really not content with what I have, you know. The first one is my height, I’m around 175-176 cm. I genuinely feel a lot of insecurity and self-hate because of it, you know. Where you are seen as more attractive, stronger if you are taller. And to tell you the truth, I do see more benefit in it as well, because you have a bigger frame to fit more muscle into, meanwhile when you’re shorter you can have too much muscle on your frame, which may cause health issues in the long run. Another Thing that bothers me about this is that I feel when people say that height doesn’t matter, for some reason I can’t help but think it’s people saying it in order to be kind and not because they are saying what they actually think, like a bitter truth of sorts. Hell, I even have some fears that if I get in a relationship with a woman that she might cheat on me for a taller person, you know. It’s like a disturbing thought I have in the back of my mind that fucks with me from time to time. I have a lot of bitterness and resentment on people who taller than me, you know, like why and how they became tall?why do they get to be tall, yet I got fucked?they never worked hard for it? This is the thought process I had, you know. In addition, I see a lot of horrible figures and people in history that were insanely tall, like serial rapist and killer ed kemper who was 6’9 and was extremely intelligent, and I go “why the fuck does this degenerate get to be tall, but not me?” To add to it, I used to live in a country where my height was generally the average or maybe slightly taller height, but now I moved into another country and for some reason I can’t help but notice that everyone is taller than me, maybe I’m nuts, but that just makes me resent my whole existence you know.And to add the nail in the coffin to this paragraph,online,when I talked to my online friends,we did a nice game of just guessing where we are from,height,age,etc and most of my friends said that I was 6’2,now granted I didnt confirm or deny anything,but that kinda hurt,it straight up makes me feel like Im deformed.

Another thing that bothers me about my appearance is that I don’t feel I’m large or big enough you know, I was a pretty strong person growing up, I am 200+ so It’s pretty good, but I don’t feel it’s enough, and I feel it’s the extra fat percentage rather than muscle as well, yes you could see it, but you know that the fat covers the lines you know. I never felt that I could reach my true potential. Because a lot of times I was really busy with my school work, I focused a lot on martial arts training so that was good, and I was pretty feared and respected, I was seldom seen as the enforcer character in my club because of it. But sadly and coming back to the height part, there was a guy there, wasn’t the strongest, in fact, he was very skinny, but dude was able to beat me because of his height, and I’m fully convinced it was the case, because maybe the martial art I trained gave him an advantage, but thing is, he never knocked me out, dropped me, or even hurt me badly, he just knew how to hit my head fast, dude was like 190 cm and I genuinely hated myself you know, but looking back now, I feel it’s more that I allowed the height advantage to fuck with me.but we both knew IRL, I would have smoked him, hell everyone knew. Anyway, despite this, I am still not satisfied you know, I wish I was like those giant strongman you know, I wish I was a giant, I genuinely hate myself and my body you know. Now granted, I’m still really strong, and I would say I’m really fast as well, and I’m fortunate to have been really successful in my studies as well.

And at the final part, I feel oddly that I’m not a good-looking person, now this one I feel is the least rational to tell you the truth, because I’m fortunate that I’m a really hairy guy, hell one of my friends no joke once said “Mere mortals take products to increase their hair growth, but insert my name takes products to decrease hair growth” but for some reason I can’t help but think there is a caveat, which is the way my beard is distributed if you think about it, like how someone how has curly hair, another has straight hair, etc, I feel that my beard makes me look uglier if you think about it, you know, it’s not the growth, its just how its distributed, I know it sounds absurd, and I agree, but for some reason it bothers me you know.

And I think I have a lot more stuff I wish I had, but maybe I forgot about or didn’t write, but I generally resent myself, I wish I was taller, bigger, etc, and it’s bothering me big time, so I hope you helpful people could help me out.


The world needs all kinds of people, long ones, short ones, thick ones, thin ones. Anyhow, you and I are exactly the same height. Both my brothers are taller than me, as they did a lot of their growing before the family started falling apart and became too poor to have decent food around, and I ended up malnourished. I’ve been fat and thin. When I was fat, I blamed my body for my poor social interactions. When I was thin there was surprisingly little difference in how others regarded me. That was before I came to realize how much my self-perception affected how others saw me.

There was a guy where I worked, who was around 154cm, and had no teeth. He also had a super fine looking wife. He was out of shape physically, not a sharp dresser, and had a round face and a somewhat bulbous nose. Before he got married, lots of women flirted with him, and he had his fun with them.

Why was he so successful with women? It’s because he was a smooth talker and brimming with confidence. He never doubted his ability to get close to women, and as it turned out, he had no reason to. Women found him attractive because of his compelling personality.

Others can’t have a meaningful relationship with your exterior. It’s what’s inside that matters. Your exterior may attract attention, but it’s effect fades quickly as people get to know what’s on your inside. People who accept you or reject you based on your looks, aren’t emotionally mature enough to have a decent relationship.

I’ve met hardly anyone who was fully satisfied with their appearance, and most really wish there was something different about them. It’s true that we are our own worst critics. I suspect there’s a lot about you to be thankful for.

Spend some time “people watching.” See who’s really having fun and succeeding. I’ve no doubt that among them, there will be long people, short people, thick and thin people. Some will have high cheekbones. Some will have round faces. Observe if any of those factors determine the quality of their interactions with others.

Accept yourself as you are. Be your own friend. Others will find that attractive.


Hi Friend and welcome to heart support, Im Lisa and I am really pleased to meet you. Merry Christmas by the way, I hope your day is going well.
Can I say firstly that I concur with absolutely everything that @Wings has said, I always do, hes wonderful. I am going to say your post has saddened me so so much because It breaks my heart when i hear someone who has such a low opinion of themselves. There are a couple of things however that I would like to mention to you if I may.

I do understand very very well how negative thoughts like that play on your mind when this is your insecurity but I truly believe that you need to have more faith in other people that when they say it doesnt matter, they are being honest with you and that they are with you because they want to be and that they love you for who you are.

If this is a genuine concern for you have you thought about going to see fitness instructor or a nutritionist to make sure that you are in the best health and shape you can be.
Ultimately like @Wings says most people are not completely happy with how they look hence why the cosmetic surgery industry is booming these days (not that im an adovcate for that) I myself spent many years hating my appearence, now being mentally well is more of a priority.
Being here at heartsupport you learn that there are so many wonderful and beautiful people and you have absolutely no idea what any of them look like and you dont care either and I would call any one of them a life long friend, its such a cliche to say its personality that counts but it genuinely is. It doesnt matter how handsome you are if you are a hateful person you are ugly.
I would love for you to get some real help with this, to go and see a therapist to work on making it better because I want you to have more confidence within yourself, I respond to a lot of posts on here and you get a feeling about people and if you could feel the way about yourself to make your appearenc shine the way your personality does you will be doing very well indeed trust me. Thank you again for posting. You are loved, you are worthy and you most definatly are beautiful.
Much Love
Lisa :heart:


Hey @wings and @Lisalovesfeathers

To be honest,both of your replies kind of convinced me,I didnt expect I would be convinced,but fuck me,you are both right,maybe my perception of reality was skewed by
a lot of the bullshit I hear and say,but its good that that isnt the case.


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