Body image… yay

So… bodies. We all have them and they’re all beautiful. Sure. That’s what I’ve been told all my life. Lately though, I’ve started to hate mine. I don’t know why. I’m healthy. But I feel disgusting and like a waste of space. I feel useless. What’s the point of doing anything? We all die and the people we impact in life will all die too. Life is stupid. I don’t get it and I’m not sure I want to. People say to take things one step at a time but how can I when the future is so near and so intimidating? I’m scared and I hate myself and then I hate myself for hating myself. I just want to be gone. I don’t want any of this. I never asked for it! That seems so selfish though. Maybe I just need to get over it and try to live life like a normal person. Yeah right. Easier said than done. What is a normal person anyway? And what the heck is up with all of this crap in the world? Why are we all fighting? Like bro we’re all just trying to survive out here might as well work together yeah? Anyways, sorry for this. Kind of a mess right now but trying to look like I’m not. I don’t have any right feeling this way when there are people in the world who are suffering way more than I am.

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What you are saying is relatable. There are plenty of reasons to feel that life is futile. Very few people are satisfied with their body, not even movie stars. At best, “breed standard” looks that people think they want to acquire, are very transient, usually beginning to fade in the 40s.

There is another way of perceiving it though. If you hear an instrument producing beautiful music, even if you don’t see it, you tend to believe the instrument is beautiful. Similarly, when individuals become an instrument of beautiful thoughts and kindness, it’s really hard to see that person is anything but beautiful.

Yeah, life sucks a lot! But that’s not all there is to life. There are moments of joy, of contentment, passion, love, fulfillment, and sometimes very rich and beautiful sensory experiences. Yes, we all die, as do all those people we encountered. The thing is, long after we have become stardust, others, people we will never know, will continue to be affected by our having been present. A timely smile or act of kindness can trigger a sequence of events that could change the course of history.

Is it possible that do to the temporary nature of our existence, the time we do have is far more valuable than we usually imagine?

It is extremely abnormal to be normal. I doubt that such a person has ever existed.

There is a shit ton of negativity in the world. Dwell on it too long, and you will fall into a pit that is very hard to escape. Your best bet is to cultivate your own integrity, and figure out how to navigate your life in a way that helps you to avoid all that shit.

Many people are competitive and try to screw each other, but others really are willing to work together and they are a pleasure to work with.

You probably know the story about the blind men and the elephant. The world is like the elephant, and with inordinate frequency, people tend to find it’s ass end, and then are stuck dealing with the shit the comes out of it. Some of us get around to realizing that there is much more to the elephant, and find that interacting with the front end can be pretty enjoyable.

Come on back, and let us know how you’re doing. Wings

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From: Who.is

It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders. I can relate to feeling disgusting and useless, it’s a trap that spirals downwards if we let it and hitting the bottom is a terrible place. The world is chaotic and it when there is always so much going in it can play into these feelings even more. It’s okay to be over it to be honest. Sometimes we have to take those frustrations, scream them into a pillow, and then take a moment to think about what’s going to get you through. We can’t do much about the state of the world unfortunately, but we can focus on how to start repairing ourselves. For some people it’s professional help, for some it’s creating new environments by making friends who are passionate about something we also find important, or making art or taking exercise. Sometimes keeping ourselves afloat is doing enough. You’re allowed to forget who has it worse and focus on your stuff. Hopefully this week will be less stressful for you.

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From: twixremix

hey lov1,

it’s good to see you back on the forum, lov1! i’ll start by saying your feelings are valid and honestly i feel like we’ve all had or are having these same thoughts. the hopeless feeling you’re facing is, like wings said, relatable, but that way of thinking is not sustainable. i find myself in that same loop you’re in and it usually takes someone bopping me on the head and saying “you can’t solve all the problems you and the world are facing.” so what are some changes you can make that will bring your life more meaning, joy, and/or contented. while we can only do so much to change the world of 8 billion people, we can make our impact in a huge variety of ways, ya know? and as far as the parts about yourself, would doing things like more exercise, volunteering, or hobbies bring you more fulfillment? that’s the cool thing about life - we can shape it to be whatever we want so if you feel like you can feel better and more fulfilled by making a few changes to your life, go for it!

love,
twix

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Friend, Thank you for posting and for being so open and honest about how you feel, I get it, I get how you feel, I dont know you, I dont know why you feel the way you do but I hear your frustrations, upset and anger and I feel it too so I get it. Life can be bloody hard sometimes and there are times when you dont want to face it, you dont want to get up, and do anything, you just dont want today and thats ok, your allowed to feel like that. Life is stupid, its cruel and scary and full of bad things and as much as I really believe all of that it is also full of beautiful, kind, wonderful things that can make us happy and glad to be alive its just that we take those things for granted because we expect to have those things. If you want to get out of that miserable place you are in, you have to get up and get yourself out of it, its as simple as that and you have started that by writing on here so im really proud of you for that. I know its damn hard but you can do this, Im not gonna tell you everything is a bed of roses but changes will only come if you make them happen. I truly wish you the very best and please lean on us, just because you have to do the work doesnt mean you cant ask for help. Lisa. x

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From: Dr Hogarth

Hi lov1,

This is hard, because I completely understand where you’re coming from and I’d be surprised if most people haven’t entered this thought spiral at some point in their lives. But, being stuck in these thoughts is exhausting and makes the world seem entirely out-of-control; from things like our bodies right up to world events.

I got stuck in these thoughts a few years ago (that’s not to say I don’t find myself back in them quite a bit). I felt immobilised by fear of climate change and it affected every part of my life, including things like my eating because I felt that disgust and fear about my body too. What helped for me was to try and take some sort of control and start being an activist. It doesn’t solve the problem, but feeling like you’re making a stand and not just letting the world happen to you helps. It also filled my life with people who worry about the same things, which helped me to feel less alone and crazy.

I hope you can find a place in this world that feels like it might be worth fighting for. You are not alone x

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Welcome back, lov1 :hrtlegolove: I know what you mean. I can relate to these feelings of things seeming pointless if we all die in the end. I firmly believe that is why some people choose to have kids. They feel like if they have kids and those kids have kids and so on then they contributed a lasting thing to the world. But I personally see this as a fallacy. It is an egotistical way of going about life. I need to leave a piece of myself behind so I’m going to leave my genes.

If you want to make a true impact on the world that is lasting then I believe you should do acts of kindness. You should do charity work. Something you are passionate about that can help others can have a snowball effect on the world and on lives that, yes, we may never know or see or experience but that can be a beneficial thing in the world and help it be a better place than the one we entered.

- If you like nature then volunteer with a local conservation group to clean natural spaces or help get rid or invasive plant species to help reclaim land. That can impact that land for centuries.
- If you like animals then you could volunteer at local shelters to help animals find forever homes or train service animals who can help those in need live better lives. Then who knows what impacts those people may make on the world thanks to the help of that animal’s companionship and love.
- If you think children are our future (which they are :stuck_out_tongue: ) then you could volunteer with children’s organisations or after school programs to help children learn and grow and feel safe. You could impact dozens or even hundreds or lives and help them onto paths that can encourage them to make the world a better place in their own ways.

There are so many different ways we can leave impacts on the world that can last far beyond our physical selves. I hope that you find something you enjoy doing and that can leave that impact that will help you feel like you have a purpose in this life and pieces of yourself and your spirit that you leave behind. Good luck out there, friend. Hope to hear from you soon :hrtlegolove:

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