I miss my best friend so much, but last night he broke my trust. He has been so distant lately, and I have no idea why. I noticed that since I had gotten my boyfriend, he seems to be off in another world, almost lost, and when I asked about it, he just said he was fine. I thought he just didn’t want to talk about it, so I just let it go. When he got his girlfriend, it started to happen more, he was so distant. Last night, we were talking, and he just hung up on me, with no explanation, I got so fed up with it, I blocked him on hangouts. He later texted me and I told him to fuck off. I was just so angry with him, that I didn’t know what to do, he wouldn’t tell me what was going on, and I was just having a really bad day. All I wanted was my best friend. He told me he was going to leave. He tried to pin things on me, say that it was because I wouldn’t tell him what was bothering me. That’s when I went off on him. I told him that he pushes things out of me, no matter how small or insignificant they were. I told him that I always went to him when things were bothering me. He acted like everyone else and didn’t seem to care. All I wanted was someone to rust with things, and I had that. When I went off on him, he apologized and asked if we could move past this, but he broke my trust. I still want him around, but I just don’t trust him as I did before. I can’t live without my best friend. I was honest with him and told him how I felt, but he just didn’t respond to me. I miss him, and I don’t want to lose him. He always says how he’s not like everyone else and won’t leave, but he’s really acting like it right now, and it hurts. I try to be strong for everyone else. but he was able to let me be weak, he was all I had at one point. Now, I’m not so sure. I don’t want to leave him, but I will if I have to. I met him on here, and he seemed so genuine, but I guess it was all a mask that he put on. All I wanted was to be needed by one person, and I thought I had that, but I guess that was all a lie. I miss you @Danny, you were all I had, even if it wasn’t real.
I’m sorry things aren’t okay with your friend. The only thing I can say is take your time to get better until you amends with your friend. Both of you are not in a good place. I have friend who I haven’t spoke in almost 8 months, and I don’t know what it is going on with her life. I don’t know if our friendship is going to continue. Also, forgive him. It is the best thing to do. I hope you are having a great day. Thank you for sharing. Take care.
Hey friend,
Thank you so much for posting on the support wall, it takes a lot to get your feelings out there and I appreciate that you took the time to do it here. Im sorry that you and your friend are going through a rough patch right now. I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through. A few years ago, my friend was married and had a child on the way, one day he called me over to his house to hangout and when i got there a situation happened to where I had to distant myself from him and his family. To this day, I haven’t spoken to that person however at times I wish I could still talk and hangout with them like nothing has happened.
I think, even though your friend felt he had to distance himself from you when you were in a relationship, for whatever reason, that doesn’t mean he didn’t, or still does, care about you. You met each other through Heart Support, which is a big factor because you both know what it means to show love and care towards another person despite what they are going through. Though he may have broken your trust in the past, that doesn’t mean it cant ever be rebuilt and you two can continue to be best friends. I cannot speak for him, however all I can recommend is that you reach out to him and give a good effort to rebuild what once was and come to understanding on both sides that no matter what you two can still be best friends and be there for each other.
Hold Fast,
-Yummerz
Hey @Littlebitch666, I’m sorry things are so difficult right now. Thank you for sharing your heart and your hurts with us, you’re a brave soul to do so.
Sometimes, communication breaks down. Take some time to yourself. Reach out to the positive influences outside of that relationship (other friends, hobbies, etc.) and breathe for a minute. When the time is right, ask to sit down and talk for a little bit to get on the same page, be honest with each other. If you are both willing, you can come back from this and grow. Trust is so important, and it will take time to rebuild, if that is what you both want.
If he can’t take time to do that, as hard as it could be, it might be time to let it go. Sometimes we outgrow people. That’s okay. If that happens, value the good times, the memories, and all of the things you have learned. Life throws tough lessons at us sometimes. You’re tougher - if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here trying to work through it on your end of things.
No matter what happens, we’re here for you. We love you. Hold fast.
Hey Little,
I want you to know that there’s going to be a lot of tough love in this post, but I want you to also know that everything that I say is out of love, and hoping that it will help you grow and help you heal.
To say that he broke your trust, solely based on the things you described in the post, was extremely far fetched to say the least. Him choosing to distance himself, or cut contact even isn’t breaching trust at all. And even you said, it happened more as you got a boyfriend, often times that’s a respect thing. If you get with another guy, if a guy is overly involved in your life, out of respect for your boyfriend it is good that he reevaluated boundaries. That is a healthy thing and I commend him for that. Then especially after he got a gf as well, he was respecting boundaries there. This is something you should come to accept, and my friend if you can’t you will face a lot more issues exactly like these.
Your reaction here is what really hurt the situation, and I hope that you can see that, and you can learn better ways to handle that situation. You blowing up on him, blocking him etc, was extreme, and in all reality, in that situation he had every right to just distance himself there, block you, and not reach back out. I understand that you were upset, and you feel like he broke your trust, but you need to realize he has feelings to, and you don’t know what he was going through. And if he didn’t want to open up to you, that’s not him breaking trust either, he probably had good reason he didn’t want to open up.
My best advice is you need to give things time to heal. Your words that you said/ you blowing up on him possibly hurt him, and now he’s taking space to reevaluate things, and focus on himself and his relationship, and maybe contemplating what is best for the future of your guys friendship. And you need to be okay with that, and you need to wait. Also, you publicly calling him out here with his name and @ him imo was probably not a wise decision and isn’t really fair to him.
Anyways, I wish you the best of luck with these things, and I really hope you think about these things that I have said.