Boundries.. breached... in my teens and now comming to grips

This is something I’m vocalizing for the first time
so hopefully this will make sense…

so I grew up in a very religouse envirenment… I lost the card at 14, moved about 5 months later

my mom was a manger in the apartement complex we lived in
after a phone call months later, the word went around about the experience
and she asked me about it… i couldn’t lie and she cried
was wierded out a bit
then she and I talked to my church leader about it and it got wierder
I answered questions that a son should not talk to his mom about

the fruit of that is i’m so weirded out about her knowing anything about my
life… I dont talk to my family about anything personal cause they will tell her

Several times she had personal jokes that should be funny but crossed that boundry… and I got upset and vocalized it but was to def earss

I didn’t know how it damaged untill my adult years when I realized I closed off
myself from people genuinely care about and a challenge

I’ve had to learn that healthy boundries are just healthy!!


From: Micro (Discord)

Hey friend. Thank you so much for reaching out. It seems that you’ve been through something that really impacted you and your intimacy when you were young. I can only imagine how much being asked about it by your mom was an overwhelming experience. As something who’s been something similar at a young age, I always felt like it was better for others to not know about what happened. Even if our parents are close to us, there are things we don’t want to disclose to them, especially if it brings any kind of shame. What happened was not your fault though, and how your mom reacted isn’t in your control either. Making jokes about this topic while knowing what you’ve been through feels like your voice isn’t heard. But I want you to know that we hear you right now. We see you. And we’re truly proud of you for looking back at those events in such a thoughtful way. Someone crossed your boundaries without your permission, and that was not okay. You are loved dearly. Hold fast, friend. <3


hey there tobias,

thank you for sharing your story. i’m sorry that you’ve had to form those boundaries but it’s completely understandable with what you’ve had to face, especially at a young age. your mom should learn to respect your boundaries and not make personal jokes to your expense.

you aren’t alone in finding out that the boundaries we placed when we were young have followed us through life and now pose a challenge to our present lives and relationships. however, I totally agree with you that healthy boundaries are still vital to have!

wishing you the best of luck on your journey with your mom, the people in your life, and learning to trust the people that won’t cause you harm. you are loved, valued, and appreciated, and i look up to your strength!



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