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Bpd and my fp left me

I recently developed a romantic relationship with my FP, after not even having an FP for over 2 years. Very quickly it turned sour, since I am too unstable and too emotional. He has autism which makes him very overwhelmed with my illness and he doesnt know how to handle it, which I completely understand and dont blame him at all for it. He left me. He was the only one I had, im struggling so much, I always end up pushing people away. I end up hurting people, I end up alone because I just cant function like a regular human. I love him so much, I wish I could be different.

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Beign emotional is not bad at all and it is not an illness! It means you can open you heart to the cruel outside world and give your emotions to other people. I know a guy (he’s working with me) who is searching for an emotional GF and having big problems with it for almost 4 years. I learned how to be emotional and still cannot show as many emotions as i wish, because i’m scared about what poeple will think of me.

Sorry, i know about autism based on small reading and couple of films only, but i know this. If someone loves you - it doesn’t matter that you are ill or not. Maybe, he was just scared to show you his true feelings, because it’s very hard for him or he is afraid to make a mistake and to make you even worse?
Have you told him how much do you love him? Sometimes, a couple of separate days (or a week) apart is all you need to develop the relationship further, i’ve been there. We broke up pretty hard, than i just send SMS about a month later with words like “What’s up? Do you want to just go for a walk?”. Now we are married and live for 11 years together :slight_smile:

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