Since losing my steady job in June, I’ve been bouncing back and forth between small jobs that don’t last long, or just seem to end due to reasons outside of my control. I’ve tried to apply for better jobs that will give me more hours, but things just seem to go nowhere. I put in an application, possibly even go for an interview, but afterwards, I just hear nothing back. Even “following up” is usually met with radio silence. After a long string of unsuccessful interviews, I’m broke, battling depression, and am just plain lonely.
I’ve never been particularly popular, and have mostly relied on work to provide social interaction. Since being laid off, I’ve had no social life what so ever. I have no friends, and very little family that care to be around me.
I’m tired of being alone, and just feeling like I am not good enough to merit basic human comforts.
I’m having fast, uncontrollably negative thoughts nearly everyday now, and am having the hardest time doing even the smallest tasks.
To feel like every day for a long season has been these waves of disappointment after disappointment, it’s like there’s only so much a soul can take before it caves…before you give up and feel like there’s no hope, like things will never get better…or worse yet like there’s something uniquely wrong with you that is the source of this brokenness that only you experience…it can be such a terrifyingly lonely thought to feel like you are the uniquely broken person and no one else could possibly understand.
I’m sorry you’re in that place, friend. It’s so hard to get up and keep trying, keep pressing forward to try out new avenues of finding a job, of finding connection…to feel like you lose the anchor that kept you tied to the rest of humanity. So brutal.
But just as a reminder friend, you are not your job. You are not your income. You are not your failures or even your successes. You are something so much more brilliantly fundamental than that: you are loved. And you are worthy of belonging. I’m sorry you’re in a s eason where it feels like your life contradicts these truths, but it doesn’t make the sky any less blue. The truth is the truth regardless of whether you feel it or see it or believe it. It just is. And so you just are. Loved.
Wow, I have damn near the same thing going on but mine has been a long time coming. The smallest of tasks are hard some days (shower, brush teeth, eat, ect.), the thoughts are negative sometimes and I’ve had a revolving door of jobs.
I’ve adopted part of the A.A. philosophy and by that I mean only a piece. I live one day at a time, one minute at a time, one task at a time, one game, one obstacle, and one challenge at a time. I’ve also found that a few people have my back lately.
The job thing will work itself out, you’ve got to keep pushing or maybe adjust your strategy or your expectations. What has worked for me is I have found something positive to pour my creative energies into. What is it that you enjoy? What hobby can become an important part of your life? What part of you can you grow and cultivate and blossom?
Friends are hard to come by but I have a few on Facebook and Discord and a few in real life. You’re not the only person who feels like you do and has those thoughts. You’re not alone, for real…I bet there’s some people out there that wish you were around more and just don’t understand why. Fight those thoughts away and feed positivity and try to gravitate towards people who understand and accept you.
This is me at the moment for the past however many years I still live at home I hate OT and I am looking for job and I want to get out so your not alone
Things have been going a bit better today. I had another job interview that seemed to be different from the others. No confirmation yet, but I am hopeful that I will have an actual job that won’t jerk me around.
Rather than just ask the usual “where do you see yourself in 10 years”, the interviewer asked questions that seemed to have purpose, and thought put behind them. I let him know that it was probably the best I’ve felt in an interview in years. He seemed to like that.
Nate -
Thank you for your kind words. As somebody that doesn’t really have many people around to help – hearing praise, and love was a nice change of pace. I am trying to keep pressing forward, but sometimes it is very hard. Especially when spending so much time alone…
Brett -
I hope that you are doing well, and that you are sticking to your “one day at a time” philosophy. It is quite hard to pull yourself out of a funk so deep.
As for hobbies / creative outlets… I draw, and take photos, but these outlets have been hard to pursue lately. Part of the problem is that I used to do these for my job. These outlets have become kind of “poisoned” by the negativity surrounding events that led to that job ending. Its been very hard to find new creative outlets that don’t have that attached.
Lifespoet -
Its comforting to know I am not alone, but I hope you are able to find the job / fulfillment you are looking for. I also lived at home for quite a long time. Try not to beat yourself up about it – it wont last forever.
Hi,
I just found this site yesterday and have been reading some of the posts. I just wanted to encourage you to consider maybe finding a place where you can share your time with others who are less fortunate. We were not built to isolate but to bless one another. I work in a hospital where I witness on a daily basis patients who are very alone and due to health issues cannot care for themselves…there never seems to be any family or friends that visit so they are left alone day in and day out, with minimal human interaction. May I suggest you look into how you might bless one in such a condition just with a visit. There are many assisted living/nursing homes that could use people who are willing to reach out and spend time with them. Interestingly, it does incredible things to our own mental health. When we bless others, we are not giving all our energies to our own situation that can cultivate much negative thoughts.
I have learned in my own experience that when I look to the needs of others and do something to alleviate their pain even a little, it allows God to work on the things of my life that I have no control over. Just as he fed the children of Israel in the desert crossing and provided DAILY for their needs, so He promises to do the same for me if I ask and believe Him at His word. If I come to the end of my day and have a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food to eat…then He was faithful to provide exactly as He promised. He often works on a daily basis to get us to trust Him for all things so don’t discredit the value of His hand moving in your life nor the blessing you can be to others less fortunate. It truly is healing to brighten somebody else’s day! God bless
Feeling this right now trying to keep my job while I have no transportation and in trying to get my license to get transportation how am I supposed to do anything if my own family doesn’t even want to help me or even help me with my child unless it’s to take my child from me
God bless