Broken Engagement

After 4 years, long distance, moving to another state for him and loving him unconditionally he proposed and then broke it off 2 months later. We had the most perfect relationship and I think that scared him. Anybody have tips on how to remember him and our amazing 4 years while still focusing on myself and how to get over him? I want to remember him but while moving my life on and letting go of him.

What you’re saying has no solution, you either let go or you don’t

Hey friend, I’m sorry this has happened to you, especially after being together for so long and then ultimately planning to get married.

This breaks my heart, but I can empathize because a family member is in the same situation. He actually got married to his significant other of 6 years back in August, and now she wants to file an annulment. Have you talked to him at all about any of this? Perhaps he was scared of getting married, maybe the weight of it was something that wasn’t right for him at this point in time. It’s also entirely possible he was already not wanting to be in the relationship anymore without knowing it, thinking that maybe proposing to you may have fixed however he was feeling about your relationship. Did you suggest couple’s counseling? Or offered him space to consider whether or not he wants to even be in a relationship anymore?

If he is not open to anything that will work on your relationship, then you do need to let go. I do agree with either you letting him go or you don’t. If you try to “remember him and your amazing 4 years”, you will not be able to work on yourself or get over him because you will always be clinging to memories that will spark the hope of “maybe we can get back together”, which always holds people back and never helps.

Reach out to friends, family, spend time with them, explore new hobbies, travel, however you can, focus on yourself and finding your enjoyment of being you again.

My condolences. You’re not alone friend. Hold fast.