All i do is work sleep and take care of my kids. It’s like a broken record. I shouldn’t complain because people have it way worse than me but I’m just beat. I’m allways tired and I never have time for myself. I’m miserable everyday now because I know it’s gonna be the same daily routine of taking care of everyone. Any advice? I find my self allways tired and wanting to sleep.
I know the melancholy of that existence…feeling like every day is ground hog day, but you’re the only one stuck. Like you show up at work, clock in, clock out, show up at home, clock in, clock out, show up at work, clock in, clock out, etc, etc, etc. But it feels like you’re trapped by responsibility, by duty…like the only thing you can do is what you have to do and you have no time for desire or joy or…anything.
I have felt that weight in my own life being a parent myself as well. It’s really tough, man, it can feel really imprisoning like your life has no choice, no time, no chance to change.
I’m a Christian, so most of the advice / stuff that works in my life has to do with my relationship with God, so I’m not sure if this will be helpful, but what really helped me was releasing the burden of everything that I was carrying on my shoulders to Him…when I’m overwhelmed by the “duty” of life, I just take a minute somewhere in my day (typically when I get off work before I “clock in” at home) and I just say, “I release everyone and everything to you, Jesus,” and I come back to this place where I realize that the truer reality – truer than me being an employee, than me being a dad – is that I am loved, is that I don’t have to earn anything, is that He is capable of handling all of the stresses of my life and I can just come back to the place in his care where I am the center of his love and attention and provision, and I can just be His and be safe. There’s something about releasing it all that helps me feel I can handle the next step, the next choice, the next thing I have to do.
Also, pausing in general between things is so freaking helpful. There’s actually this app called “One Minute Pause by Ransomed Heart” that can practically help in this…Taking a second between work and home, between night time for kids and whatever you’re going to do that night (even if it’s go to bed), between driving to work and walking in…finding ONE MINUTE in your day to pause and just not have anyone need anything from you, re-center in love, re-center in separateness from duty and responsibility. It’s really really helpful. It can make a world’s worth of difference if you practice it.
There’s actually a whole book on little practices like this called “Get Your Life Back” by John Eldredge. He’s a Christian too, so a lot of it has to do with God-centered perspectives, but all of the practices are simple and practical for anyone, so if you’re looking for a way to get color back into your life, this could be a good tool. I have a copy and love it myself.
Here’s a trailer:
and here’s the link to amazon if you want it:
Hope this helps, even if it’s just to know that someone else has experienced something similar and that you’re not alone.
Ive been there my friend. Every day felt like it was pointless because it was the same endless cycle. So I just felt sad, depressed, frustrated angry etc. I get it. Been there.
For me I really had to self reflect a little bit and try to figure out how I could help myself feel better. I was tired of feeling that way everyday. But there was nobody that could change that except myself. So I did some soul searching and tried to figure out what I needed to do.
For me, it was getting out of my current environment. Taking the step I needed to get into a healthier place. It was hard. Not easy. But not all things come easy. I worked through that.
For me it was also trying to get therapy. So I started seeing a counselor AND a family/life counselor. And that helped me find some direction. It helped me change my mindset and perspective. It helped me with my attitude. And I learned that attitude is everything. If we have a crappy attitude, everything is going to feel crappy. So I tried to work on myself and find things that could feel good.
For me, this is also art. Exploring my creative passion. It’s also helping others, so I volunteer.
What are some things that you can do to kinda change things up a little. What are some small things you can do or squeeze in that would help you?
It’s important to step back and self reflect a little. Try to kinda time manage in the small areas we can and work out time for our mental health. It’s hard to find balance. It took me many years to figure it out and Im still working on it. But it’s different for everyone.
I’m sending you love my friend. I hope and pray that you are able to find balance.