Beth, I love you so much friend! I’ll never forget how you encouraged me to engage with this community at Warped last year, and now it’s my turn to be here for you.
I’m so sorry that so many things have been piled up on you at one time, and I’m sorry that it has added such a weight for you to bear. I too am also dealing with much stronger effects with my medical condition, and it hasn’t been fun. It’s made me more of a shut in more than I have ever been in my life, and I hate it.
There have a number of things I’ve tried to cope over the past year with feelings of being overwhelmed. I’ve reached out much more to people I care about, including here, and even if no one can understand exactly what I’m going through it seems to help get it out in the air. I’ve try to write about what I’m feeling at the time and think about what I’m feeling, and whether or not it is worth my time feeling certain feelings or letting them go. I’ve tried maximizing whatever time I have to myself to be out in the world, out in the sun, out in nature and breathing in fresh air. I listen to a lot of music when I feel very strongly about going back to old and harmful habits, and I will sit there until I find THE song that makes me forget about all the awful things happening in my world around me. And I’ve done what I can to give whatever worries I have about my medical condition up to my doctor’s, I’m not a doctor so there’s no point in trying to diagnose myself or my symptoms.
I’m glad to read that you have been going to a therapist and psychiatrist, I hope you have the ability to keep going. You know as well as I do, in addition to all the medical stuff the mental side of our health needs to be looked after and be held to just as high a priority.
You may feel broken, but I don’t believe you are. You have been dealt so much, and you’re only doing your best to handle all of it. The weight of all those labels? It’s not all entirely yours to bear. You know you’re accepted for who you are as a human here. Keep utilizing your resources and keep reaching out.
I care about you greatly and freaking believe in you friend! Hold fast.