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Brokenness and stuff

Hey guys.
It’s been a while since I posted here.

I’m struggling again. I’m struggling with feeling not good enough. I feel broken. Recently, I’ve been going through a lot…facing a move, a near eviction, small arguments with my roommate, LOTS of stress, and more. Since I last posted, I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar 2, autism, agoraphobia, and PTSD. Now I carry the weight of those labels. I’ve also been struggling physically with new/worse symptoms of my chronic illnesses. All in all, everything is getting too much to carry. I need help but dont know who or how to ask so I’ve kept quiet.

How do you guys cope when the weight of the world becomes too much? How do u keep from giving up?

I’ll be honest, I’m fighting against urges to relapse into self harm and/or attempt on my life again. I feel alone and stuck. And broken. So freaking broken.

I’d appreciate advice, encouragement, love, etc. Thank u anyone who reads this. :heart:

I am so sorry you are going through all this. It’s hard when it feels like the weight of the world is crashing. Even harder with dealing with mental health on top of physical health on top of life. For me what’s been helping lately is talking about it rather on here or with journaling, going for drives or getting out of the house. It’s painting and finding small things to do. It’s been a lot harder fighting my own voices lately but im more scared to keep surviving than actually live. Don’t know what that means yet but I’m staying open to the idea of better days or finding my purpose. I’m trying not to judge the hard days easier said than done. I’m trying to allow myself to feel and stay curious to the fact that there is more than me just being broken. For now it’s borrowing hope from people and take one small step forward even if it scares me for triggers my anxiety. I’m sorry things are so hard right now. You aren’t alone. You are worthy and matter. Borrow hope if you have to. Do you have a counselor you are seeing? That is helping me lately.

Thank you for responding. I have a psychiatrist and therapist. I only see my therapist once every 3-4 weeks though and we’ve not yet dived into anything remarkable yet, just worked on my resume.

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Therapy takes time but it’s possible to go deeper. Just know it’s okay to take it slow that you don’t have to figure out all this at once. Maybe you could start seeing your therapist twice a month or every week for a little while.

I just find things that I love and focus on them. There is so much beauty in this world, and so many small things to appreciate. I find people that I love and care about and lean on them. I make myself relax- take a bath, read a book, go for a walk, go for a drive, call an old friend, invite someone to do something. Do things that make you happiest and enjoy them. Take it all in. We can enjoy these things, and recognize the joy within them because we feel sadness as well. Sadness isn’t always easy, but it allows you to feel other emotions. Sometimes, just crying helps too. Get it all out. But don’t let it drown you, love.

Beth thank you for sharing. I relate to this so much. I’m very stressed in my daily life. The situations that I’m being thrown into or have been thrown into suck. And it’s been weighing on me for a while now. I know how it feels to feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. The feeling of being overwhelmed is normal and natural. Let these feelings have a place to stay, but don’t spiral if that makes sense. I hope that helps even a little. Love you friend!

I am also on the autism spectrum. I try to ignore it because I’ve masked it my whole life, but I am still struggling with skills needed when applying/interviewing for jobs. I have days where I want to give up, but I keep going hoping for a better day.
I remember that my friends love me. I don’t always reach out, but I know they care. I always look forward to spending time with them even when I don’t get to talk about my problems.

Beth, I love you so much friend! I’ll never forget how you encouraged me to engage with this community at Warped last year, and now it’s my turn to be here for you.

I’m so sorry that so many things have been piled up on you at one time, and I’m sorry that it has added such a weight for you to bear. I too am also dealing with much stronger effects with my medical condition, and it hasn’t been fun. It’s made me more of a shut in more than I have ever been in my life, and I hate it.

There have a number of things I’ve tried to cope over the past year with feelings of being overwhelmed. I’ve reached out much more to people I care about, including here, and even if no one can understand exactly what I’m going through it seems to help get it out in the air. I’ve try to write about what I’m feeling at the time and think about what I’m feeling, and whether or not it is worth my time feeling certain feelings or letting them go. I’ve tried maximizing whatever time I have to myself to be out in the world, out in the sun, out in nature and breathing in fresh air. I listen to a lot of music when I feel very strongly about going back to old and harmful habits, and I will sit there until I find THE song that makes me forget about all the awful things happening in my world around me. And I’ve done what I can to give whatever worries I have about my medical condition up to my doctor’s, I’m not a doctor so there’s no point in trying to diagnose myself or my symptoms.

I’m glad to read that you have been going to a therapist and psychiatrist, I hope you have the ability to keep going. You know as well as I do, in addition to all the medical stuff the mental side of our health needs to be looked after and be held to just as high a priority.

You may feel broken, but I don’t believe you are. You have been dealt so much, and you’re only doing your best to handle all of it. The weight of all those labels? It’s not all entirely yours to bear. You know you’re accepted for who you are as a human here. Keep utilizing your resources and keep reaching out.

I care about you greatly and freaking believe in you friend! Hold fast.

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Massive thank you to everyone who replied/participated in the live stream. I appreciate this community so very much!

To follow up, things are a little better but still hard. I moved…in with my parents in California (again). I had to leave behind my amazing roommate. I, thankfully, didn’t have to get rid of my dogs so huge weight lifted there. Honestly, things are a lot less stressful here even if this is a toxic environment. I don’t know what the future holds, where I will end up, or whether or not my amazing roommate and I will get reunited but it helps knowing I have this amazing community behind me.

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