I keep getting bullied at school, and I go to guidance, but they don’t do anything. He started to get physical with me now, and I can’t handle it. I just stopped cutting and now I want to do it again. My girlfriend just dumped me too. It kept taking her 3 days to respond when I need her the most, but when she needed me, I was always there for her. I just felt like she was using me. My mom has left permanent scars on me, I can’t breathe right because of her now. I have a fear of anyone touching me without hurting me now because of her. I thought I had gotten away from her and her constant abuse when I moved in with my dad, but now it’s just the same stuff, different people, different day. I don’t know how much more I can take of this. She has corrupted every aspect of my life and now I have other people doing the same thing. I don’t know how long I can hold on until I fall off the edge. I’m 14 and already thinking about doing drugs and drinking. Sometimes I just want to be held, and other time I just want to destroy the world, but right now, I want to destroy myself to make other people see the pain they cause me. I’m sick of being mistreated and I being seen as an object. My school is really sexist, and they won’t do anything because I’m female. I can’t talk to my dad because he doesn’t care. No one does. I feel like I should just end it, but I also want to prove people wrong. I’m just a useless whore like everyone says, anyway. I should just submit to the shadows and let the words of the world take control. I should just let the corrupt control my life, speech, and actions. I’m done. It’s over. I’m free for everyones use.
First of all, I want to tell you that you are loved by us here at Heart Support. I promise that whatever the darkness is whispering to you is a lie! You are beautiful, obviously talented in writing and expressing yourself, and you have worth. Never tell yourself you are worthless. And let me tell you that I have gone down the road of addictions and self-medicating and nothing but pain and more darkness like down there. Never give up, never give in to the darkness! It breaks my heart and I grieve for you that you feel you have no one to reach out to. I pray to God that He brings people into your life to hold you, talk with you, and to be whatever you need them to be.
Hold fast friend, you’re not alone in this! Hear me when I say that. The darkness will not overcome you. There is hope, there is a light at the end, I promise. I know because i’ve seen it. Life is possible. I know it’s hard, I know you feel hopeless, i validate everything you’re feeling. Your emotions are real, valid, and valuable. But they won’t last forever.
You have our love and support, I hope you know that. You’re not alone.
Man, I wish I could come to you and take you away from all of this. It sounds absolutely dreadful. I agree with Sam! Please don’t give into the darkness! Find your way and find the light and prove people wrong!! There is a God that wants better for you, and in looking away from pain and looking to God there can be relief. I’m sure there is anger towards him for how your life has been. I get it, I’ve struggled with anger at him for the abuse I endured from my,father and exes. But I think in our pain he brings great strength and character, and through having those you are able to strengthen and encourage others. Our pain, when directed properly, can do amazing and,beautiful,things. I so wish I could be there with you right now! I’m so sorry life has been so dark for you! Is there any way youre able to get away from all the toxicity? Like finding somewhere else to,be? I’m praying for you and I hope this all improves, and I hope your pain eases soon. Please,know, that if you are comfortable, you can come,to,my,page and find a place of acceptance and love and understanding. I wish I could do,more for you! Please hold fast and dont give up! You got a lot of people to prove wrong.
Darkness will not make you happy, which should be your first goal in life. Evil is not born, it’s made. Don’t let them make you into this, they don’t have any right to. I know you feel tired and sick of everything. But I promise you will turn eighteen one day, and you can leave. Then you will have your whole life to heal and do what you want to do. We believe in you, and we’re here. Post whenever you want to, ok? I know you’re a fighter, and you’re not broken, you’ve just fallen down, which happens and is ok.
Hold Fast, and show them what they made by continuing to live when everything seems dark. But the dark is only for now. This wont last forever.
Children Surrender - Black Veil Brides