Burnt out.... again

I just started my school semester last week. I’m taking two classes with heavy workloads, one of them being the online equivalent class to one I’ve retaken and failed 3 times. There’s a lot of pressure to pass said class as I’m so close to finishing my degree. In the past 21 days, I’ve gotten sick 5 of those days, had 3 panic/anxiety attacks. Out of the sick days, 4 of them were due to physical symptoms I always experience under extreme stress. And 3 of those sick days were in the first week and a half of school. Even with working through those sick days as much as I could handle, I barely have been able to get work done on time.
So I’m not starting the semester off in the most ideal way. I’m just so exhausted already. I don’t even have the energy to reach out to friends half the time. I’m doing what I can to not isolate like I have in the past. I’m trying to figure out how to rest, but it seems like whatever self care I do never lasts long. I always fulfill the physical needs (eating, sleeping, exercise, personal hygiene), but I don’t know what else besides that would help. Or how to really make time for regular fulfillment.

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For some reason, it’s very common that when a person is coming to the end of the project, approaching a goal or finishing a marathon, the last bit of it seems to be more difficult than the rest. So, it’s not terribly surprising that as you approach the end of your schooling, the remaining assignments are more daunting.

It might help to remind yourself that the stress you are feeling is evidence that you are nearing your goal. That also means, that in the not too distant future, the apprehension related to the goal will be gone. If your school has a clinic, they may have someone who can help you with the anxiety. When I was in my last semester, I kept pretty much to myself, because the added stress meant that I needed additional sleep. Without the extra rest, I doubt that I would’ve been able to maintain focus.

It’s also important, to step away from the work, and take your mind off of it for a while. Regular breaks, perhaps 30 minutes at a time, will enable you to focus better when you come back to the work. If you’re not already doing so, taking a decent multivitamin may also be helpful, as certain vitamins help the body cope with stress.

You are on the home stretch. Hang in there!

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That makes sense. I think a major problem I have is I have a lot of horrible focus issues, so I’m always scared to take breaks when I’m actually getting work done. I often in the past have stopped for a break, then sit back down to work and never start working again. So I guess figuring out how to get refocused will help? Maybe even change what I do during breaks so there’s structure? I’m just not 100% sure how to practically assess where change needs to be and what to try.
I have gone to my school counseling center in the past, but that resource is no longer available to me as an online student. My family is also very anti counseling and a lot of their focus methods actually cause more anxiety. So I guess I kinda posted to get a broader range of ideas to help. See what worked for others that would be worth trying.

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I’m glad you’re exploring options. Although you’re schooling online, it might be worth contacting the school to find out if they have an online counseling option. It’s not uncommon to have difficulty picking up where one has left off, when working on a project. Part of it is re-directing an unwilling brain that’s still not ready to let go of being in “break status.” I found it helpful to pick a short term goal, for example, "When I’ve done ten of these gadgets, That’s when I’ll take a break. Then when you come back from break, you can tell yourself "I’ve done ten, now I can do the second ten. In other words, choosing a definite stopping point, helps to remember exactly where you need to step back in and continue the process.

What to do during breaks? I guess that will take a bit of trial and error until you can determine what kind of activity or lack of it is best at helping you feel refreshed. For me, sitting in a chair with my eyes closed worked out pretty well. I tried lying down, but it led to a feeling of lethargy. I’ve also put earbuds in and listened to music, done a bit of walking, and light reading.

As far as family being anti counseling, there’s no need to tell them what you’re up to. I think families may discourage counseling, regardless of the verbalized rationale, because they are concerned that the counseled person will change as a result, hence family relationships will change as well. I think family members may experience a shade of insecurity or intimidation at a subconscious level, when a member makes noticeable positive changes. Something about it bugs them, but they aren’t sure what, so they simply fabricate reasons for their belief that counseling is ineffective. I’m not saying that’s what’s happening in your family. I certainly don’t know, but I think it’s best to heed your own instincts on the issue.

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So I guess I kinda posted to get a broader range of ideas to help. See what worked for others that would be worth trying.

I’ve read the convo and just wanted to respond to this specifically. I struggled with the same focus issue when I was a student, and during finals it was painful to feel like I couldn’t take a break or I’d sabotage my work “flow”. For me personally, something that helped was to listen to the same music every time I started to work. With time, once I’ll play that music, I was able to focus more quickly. I don’t know if it’s some kind of mental conditioning, but since then I’ve done that with other things and it really helps me (at work, when I have to do a task I don’t like such as cleaning, etc., depending on what kind of focus I need). Though if listening to music distracts you, consider trying with ambient music/ with no lyrics. There are plenty of soft/ambient playlists on Spotify and Youtube and it could be worth to see if some of them give you a better feeling.

Another thing, which is not from me but actually a friend who were sharing that with me yesterday: having something to hold in one of your hands at the same time. It can be a soft plushie, something squeezie, a big pencil, as long as it gives you a sense of physical grounding. It could be interesting to hold it when you work, and to leave it when you take a break. So every time you take it back, you give your mind the signal that now is work time.

I’m not sure it this could help :frowning: - just two little ideas to try eventually. As both of you said, working on what to do during your breaks is also really important. Give yourself a bit of time to identify what you need during those breaks and what helps/doesn’t help to focus afterwards. Do you need to keep being focused on something, but something different? Or do you need to totally “reset” your mind by doing almost nothing and having a silent time? Try different things, see how it feels, trust your intuition. The more you allow yourself to be curious about what you need, the more you’ll learn to identify that progressively.

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